i can't even tell you

how much has changed since my last post.  

last time i wrote, i was laying around at my parent's unmotivated to finish packing up my car.  well, the rest of monday picked up a good bit.  including being surprise-hired by the nanny mama who turned me down the night before.  confused?  yes, so was i.  

so, i drove up here monday night, saw jared briefly and ate mcdonald's with him, on his way back to savannah from working in charlotte for the day.  got to the house, unpacked my little bit of stuff, and settled in.  tuesday and wednesday i only worked half-days with the kids (11 month old twins) so that i could get my life under control, and also train with the outgoing nanny.  

today is my first day flying solo.  so far, so good.  they are busy little bees.  but we're having fun.  

they're napping right now, and without internet at our house, this will most likely become my blogging time.  i am quite tired after a busy week.  but feel energized by the change, if you'd asked me two days ago how i was doing, i might have started crying.  but today, i am feeling peaceful.  you know those times in life (and maybe this is just me) where you can't really listen to anything but worship music, just to help you make it through the day?  that's where i've been, just sort of grasping at whatever i can get a hold of.  

love to each of you, going to sip on some coffee and enjoy the rest of the quieeeeeetttt.  

a mess.

i feel like a wreck right now.  let me paint the picture.  

i am currently slumped on my parent's couch, wearing crocs (which almost automatically puts me in a bad mood), old camp crestridge sweatpants with no drawstring, that i have conveniently gathered to one side with a hair tie.  and for a fashionable finish, i have on yesterday's shirt underneath a big, frumpy hoody.  

BUT, i do have a quad grande americano to my right, and a puppy to my left.  they seem to be counteracting my feelings of filthiness.  i am listening to hillsong, and about to take a shower.  so we're going to turn it around.  

also, please know that i did go into starbucks looking like this.  and i'd stopped off at the park to throw the ball to beu for a second, and i sat down in the grass without thinking, so not only am i looking homeless, but i am looking like an incontinent homeless person.  

okay, one more thing.  as i was pulling up at the park, i saw that someone had put a super cute tv stand out by the street.  i made a mental note to grab that on my way to starbucks.  in the 10 minutes we were at the park, that thing got TAKEN.  and this was not a busy street, this is like lower richland at 10am on a monday.  some people, i tell ya, taking the things i wanted to steal.  

*post edit--i kind of forgot to say that i am moving today.  see you in charlotte.  

censored

sheesh.  after being at my parent's house for a few days, i could tell some funny stories.  BUT, they read this, and also have facebook.  so, i am officially on gag order.  especially after thinking i was smooth enough to get away with a frustrated-middle-of-the-night post about my dad's snoring while on our road trip.  well, i did not.  my mom read it to him like a true benedict arnold.  

not a lot to report this evening.  quick trip up to charlotte tomorrow for an interview and running by the house to meet one of my roommates.  

right now, i am unable to watch LOST because jare has my TV in savannah and my parents are all about some american idol results show.  once again, sheesh.  

still feeling a little nervous about the changes coming up in the next week.  if things go as planned, i will move into the house on monday, and start my job (if i get it..eek) on tuesday.  a lot of loose ends to tie up before then though.  

must go.  if you live in charlotte, be my friend.  please.  

i am still here

quick update:

my dad, beulah, and i arrived home to columbia safely on sunday night.  after a quick stop by the park, we headed to my parent's house.  jared was in town to shoot a wedding, so after some convincing, beulah and i hopped back in the car for another three hours, and made our way down to savannah.  

i have been down here for a few days.  it has been both a great week, and a hard week.  

i still have not found a job, and had a little bit of a breakdown last night.  just feeling like i am at everyone's mercy, and like people are doing me all of these favors and i hate it. 

but!  it will get better.  and i think taking a shower in a couple of seconds is really going to make this day seem a lot brighter.  

if you think of it, i could really use your prayers.  i really need a job.  thanks guys, will check in again soon!

too much.

there is too much going on to even try to talk about it.  i feel like i have said the phrase 'too much' 50 times in the last few days.  

definitely too much food, too much decadence, way too much ice cream, and more mexican food than you can shake a stick at.  

as i sit here in our living room, my body is saying too much, and so is my heart.  tuesday is steadily nearing, and i can't quite figure it out.  i don't even want to be dramatic about this year coming to an end, but it's not just a year.  as much as i would want to try to explain what it is like to live here, and as funny as the stories can sometimes be, you just can't understand the intensity of this year, and the camaraderie it has taken to get through it (and the Jesus).  

talking about the connollys has merged into how i feel when i write about my brothers, they are so close to 'home' that it almost feels like i am being prideful when i talk about them.  so, talking about leaving, and not standing around in the kitchen together, just seems like too much.  

i'm not quite ready to do it, so please excuse my denial.  

currently

i have decided that i cannot use the delayed posting feature on blogger.  i end up thinking about it a few minutes before it's supposed to be published, and i cancel it.  not sure why?  i just always convince myself that it was stupid.

i packed up my first couple of boxes tonight.  and i finally plugged in my little ipod shuffle so it can charge, and so i can start making a killer road trip playlist.  though, i'm sure my dad will have his 'nanopod' as well, and we will be competing for air time, but that's okay because we have 42 hours of road to fill.  i am so looking forward to picking him up at the airport, and really looking forward to setting out across the country with my pop.  i know it is something we will always remember.  

a nice shot of wyoming 

after talking with kalle last night about their road trip out here last year, i got the crazy idea that we should buy a tent and camp out along our route about half of the time (and do hotels the other half).  i ran this idea by my dad and he just started laughing.  i'm not sure if he was laughing at the thought of me camping, or if he was laughing at the thought of him camping.  

growing up, we were not a camping type of family.  my parents just aren't into it.  i was telling jared today that dad might bring along a travel iron and ironing board and attempt to starch his shirts while we're camped out along the south dakota highway.  

also i am not pretending that i would be especially adept at the whole camping thing, but i'd like to try.  but after my dad stopped laughing when i suggested it, he said,

"um, let me think on that one for a day or two."  

  

today has been one of the nicest days i have had in a long time.  woke up early to a snuggle puppy, and then headed out to breakfast at portage bay cafe near UW.  kalle and i had been comparing notes for months on their menu, and how amazing their food is, so we finally met up there, and got to talk over coffee, omelets, and pancakes.  really sweet time.

vegan pancakes, topped with good things

came home and saw that sweet jess had planned a get together with some friends before i head out.  felt really loved.  

went outside in the sunshine and warm air, and played fetch with beulah, while texting back and forth with my brother while he was in class.  we talked about all the things we will get to do together in a few weeks, and laughed at the thought of dad and i sleeping in a tent.

forsythe park, savannah georgia

then i went upstairs and watched dvr'ed highlights of the bachelor from last night, as i had only seen the last 30 minutes of the after the final rose special.  the bachelor was maddening, but time on the bed with glory and jess was really nice.  then jess curled my hair using the flat iron.  i didn't know if it would work, but she made it work!  so now if i practice, maybe i can get it down.  

after that a really mellow afternoon, and then our newest girl, who is from mexico, and only speaks spanish, cooked an amazing dinner for us.  really and truly did this body some good.  

pretty much as of today, i am really not doing any new beginnings stuff.  really just focusing on moving, and it feels strange already.  like they're in the other room doing Bible study, and i feel like i'm playing hooky.  

i don't know, several people have asked me questions about how i am feeling about moving, or how prepared i am for certain aspects of it, and for the most part, i am totally unprepared.  and today, i just had to become okay with that.  i am getting there, and hopefully tomorrow another piece will be put in place, and then another one after that.  

i think i prepare as much as i can, and look for a job as earnestly as i can, but still be willing to step out even if it seems impossible.  really not sure at all what life will look like a month from now.  weird, huh?

right now

right now, i am sitting in our tv room. we all have a tolerate/hate relationship with this room, as it proves to be a dumping ground for sloth-like behavior and week old food (not so lovingly referred to as 'the dungeon'). generally, the only thing that brings me in this room is the dvr. most fridays around lunch i can be found here watching grey's anatomy from the night before. i have a very small number of episodes left to watch while i still live in the same city where it fictitiously takes place. back when grey's anatomy used to be a good show, seattle seemed all coffee-filled and cozy, you know because of all the rain, and i thought people wore chunky sweaters and ate soup 365 days a year.

honestly, my perception of seattle isn't crazy far from that after living in the area for almost a year. though, i will say, puyallup is a long way from seattle. or maybe, more accurately, reality is a long way from primetime drama.

today:

• our new girl moves from room to room so that she is never sitting in the same room as me. i have to think of it as funny. 
• one of my favorite bloggers came back to her blog today, after several months of recovery after a plane crash. check NieNie out.
• i have not showered yet, and am still in my clothes from the run i went on last night.  
• i am drinking cold coffee.
• still looking intently for a job.
• found a cute little duplex in charlotte.  in my price range, in a great neighborhood, now i just need a way to pay for it:)

BAKED update:  jess and i tried out two new recipes from the baked cookbook, they were awesome.  the brownies were the best i've ever tasted.  email me if you want the recipe:  lehogan@gmail.com

a glimpse

of my dream kitchen

beat up old table

light to go over the dining table

cozy bowls

antique range

obviously

sweet

love

i'd never had a decent set of knives until i moved out here, i'm never going back.

a few mismatched patio chairs, for dining table

jadite

we have been coveting a food processor around these parts

really simple set of dishes

this is self-explanatory.

what are your favorite websites/stores/flea markets for design ideas?

hope and action

now that you all know i am headed to charlotte, let's chat a little bit.  a lot of things will have to happen before i am able to load up the car, and head out.  right now, i am thinking my dad will take a one way flight out here, and drive back with me, which i think has the potential to be really fun.  and it will give us a chance to try out our navigating skills for when we're on the amazing race (25% kidding).  i'm thinking we can run laps at the rest stops, and make a meal from what you can find at a gas station, wait, i think that's top chef.  whatever, no matter what, it will be an experience, and there is actually no one else on earth that i'd rather drive across the country with me.  

so let's talk about what needs to happen before i move:

• first priority is to find a job.
• just as important, make strides to raise support for my transition time.  i could definitely use prayer for this point (without this none of these other things are possible).
• once i know where i'm working, find an apartment.
• after finding a place, i will have to gather up some furniture.  i had a ragtag collection of furnishings before i came out here, but they are now scattered to the four corners of the earth, and that is more than okay.  new start.  
• on the home front, i really don't have a lot to do/pack here.  i only sent out two boxes when i moved here, so hopefully i can make this a very low maintenance packing job.  
• my car is still in south carolina, under jared's watchful eye.  the current plan is to facilitate finding him a new (used) car out here in washington, driving it out for him, and then switching cars.  

okay, so now you know my list.  in the coming weeks, i will be asking your opinions about apartments, furniture, cars, and many other things.  buckle up, people.  i'm going to need you lurkers to come out of the shadows, and give some opinions.  because it's fun.