Thursday, October 25, 2012

this year.

i've lost touch with this blog.  i used to make time to share thoughts and feelings.  but now, i take two seconds and tweet or show you what's happening on instagram, and i neglect to write down what is actually happening in my heart at this point in my life.

but, i've been feeling a need to write things down.  i want to remember this time.  

so, this time last year i was nannying part time, and enjoying a low-key life where i entertained friends a lot at our little apartment.  one night i came home from a friend's birthday party and had an email from one of my close friends, faythe, from washington.  

it was essentially an email set-up.  

i didn't think very much about it because faythe has tried this before with little success.  but, i decided in my heart that i would give it a shot.  and so i started emailing back and forth with this guy named jack.  he asked good questions, and loved baseball, and he knew how to construct a sentence.  all good things.

for a few weeks, i didn't tell a single soul.  but pretty quickly, i realized that i might actually like this guy.  

i slowly started telling people about this guy i was emailing.  

when i went up to new york last november, i gave him my number since i wouldn't really be able to email every day.  he sent me a text on halloween.

so we texted for a little while, and then he asked if he could call me.

i remember being at a friend's house to watch parenthood on the night he was supposed to call me the first time.  and i was so nervous, i had to go drive around until the phone rang.  

so, we talked.

and got comfortable.

and then one day, i talked to him for three hours about my family and my life and his family, and everything.  i started telling him everything.  

after talking on the phone for 10 days, he told me he was coming to see me.  

we both knew it needed to happen, but it still felt crazy.  

jack flew out on december 16.  his visit was 6 days, which was a long visit considering it could've gone very poorly.  our contingency plan was for him to go to his brother's in baltimore if we hated each other.  

the first few days were tough.  we knew so much about each other, but didn't know how to be with each other yet.  or what we were to each other.  so we struggled, not knowing the other's expectations or even what our own feelings were.  

and then we turned a corner, where we knew that all the talking and emails and time we'd invested would be wasted if we didn't lay all our cards on the table.  so we did.  

and when he left on december 22, he was my boyfriend.

after my visit in february, i knew i loved him but didn't say it.  so we told each other the morning after i got back.

in march, he wrote me a letter every single day.  and i fell more in love with each one that i received.  

and so it went.  we bought tickets, and waited in airports, and skyped like crazy.  

some stretches were so hard, and we'd fight and not understand each other, and wonder if we could handle being apart for so long.  

but we kept going.

i'm not sure exactly when i knew that i wanted to marry jack.  i think i knew from the first email that he was special.  i had hope that he was kind, and honest, and strong in the Lord from the first few words he wrote to me.  and this last year has proven all of those hopes to be true.  

so, i get to marry my favorite person.  
and i am thankful.

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