first things first, my blog looks like a piece of garbage. i have been working on a new layout, but for now, it will remain garbage.
lately i can't get enough of two things: roast beef sandwiches and kettle chips. more specifically, the sea salt and cracked pepper kettle chips. they are so good. wait, i can't properly explain to you, they are so good. (putting them directly on the sandwich seems to be more efficient, and a timesaver, frankly).
it has been dreamlike and weird being back in columbia. i have driven around with all the windows down, and the sunroofs open the last couple of days. yesterday i went down to the river, and it was beautiful. today i drove around near our house and looked at familiar places i haven't seen in a long time (old churches, places we used to play, baseball fields we spent summers at watching the boys).
i have a very important/exciting job interview at 8am on thursday. progress! thanks, Jesus.
sonic happy hour=good.
eagerly awaiting cowan baby news!
i found out my semi-okay full mattresses got thrown out. geeze. starting from scratch.
beulah loves her family. a ton.
vitamin D is awesome.
true confession: today i went to a big field to throw the ball for beu, i left the keys in the car, and let the music play at full volume, and sort of danced around (i'm telling you, this sunshine makes you do crazy things). i was about 10 minutes into my dance party when i realized a new development had been built right behind me, and someone's kitchen window was looking directly out to where i was making a fool of myself.
so--if you need a soundtrack for your own embarrassing dance party, or you know, just something to listen to while you eat your roast beef/kettle chip sandwich, here's what i am listening to:
my dad, beulah, and i arrived home to columbia safely on sunday night. after a quick stop by the park, we headed to my parent's house. jared was in town to shoot a wedding, so after some convincing, beulah and i hopped back in the car for another three hours, and made our way down to savannah.
i have been down here for a few days. it has been both a great week, and a hard week.
i still have not found a job, and had a little bit of a breakdown last night. just feeling like i am at everyone's mercy, and like people are doing me all of these favors and i hate it.
but! it will get better. and i think taking a shower in a couple of seconds is really going to make this day seem a lot brighter.
if you think of it, i could really use your prayers. i really need a job. thanks guys, will check in again soon!
Okay right now, I am not in the best emotional state as I am going on night two of snorathon 2009. This snoring defies any description. ironically, i never got ear plugs today so I wouldn't embarass my Pop, and now i am ridiculing him all over the internet. How big of a douche am i? It is just that he is trying so hard. He even got some crazy anti-snore mouth spray before he came out here. Bless his heart, I hope he didn't pay much for it.
Anyway, our trip is going great so far. Probably won't update this much the rest of the week, but I am tweeting quite often.
Until next time, your bleary-eyed friend in Montana,
i am laying here in bed, switching channels like it's my job. currently stopped on the sopranos. i'm at a bit of a standstill. there is much to be done, but i can't really start packing up the car, until i go pick up the rental car. i have vacuumed 3 times already. maybe i'll dust?
i don't know where i am going to live. i can't really stay at my parent's house for any amount of time because their dog would eat beulah whole, one quick gulp. so that leaves jared's place in savannah, but they're finishing school and planning a wedding, so that doesn't really feel like an option. let's not even talk about jobs. i get actively upset when i start talking about this.
even though i get so riled up and fearful about walking into total dependency, i know that i will be provided for.
let's talk about Glory. yesterday was Glory's first birthday. hard to believe, right? i had about four different projects going for her, and i have finished none of them. not so hard to believe. but let me just say this, no matter when i get married and have kids, sweet Glor will always be the first baby that i watched grow. i have only missed a handful of the days in her life so far, and i love her and her brother more than just about anything. so Glory, happy birthday sweet girl. it has been a joy watching you turn more and more into yourself with every day that passes. and even though we won't be living in the same house anymore, you can always know that you have a godmother who thinks you are the greatest thing on earth.
there is too much going on to even try to talk about it. i feel like i have said the phrase 'too much' 50 times in the last few days.
definitely too much food, too much decadence, way too much ice cream, and more mexican food than you can shake a stick at.
as i sit here in our living room, my body is saying too much, and so is my heart. tuesday is steadily nearing, and i can't quite figure it out. i don't even want to be dramatic about this year coming to an end, but it's not just a year. as much as i would want to try to explain what it is like to live here, and as funny as the stories can sometimes be, you just can't understand the intensity of this year, and the camaraderie it has taken to get through it (and the Jesus).
talking about the connollys has merged into how i feel when i write about my brothers, they are so close to 'home' that it almost feels like i am being prideful when i talk about them. so, talking about leaving, and not standing around in the kitchen together, just seems like too much.
i'm not quite ready to do it, so please excuse my denial.
on tuesday, march 4, 2008, i came to new beginnings.
on wednesday, march 4, 2009, we found out that victoria was further along than we had estimated. victoria and i made plans to walk a lot over the next week as a means of inducing labor, so that i could be here when the baby is born.
jessi, vic, and i talked all afternoon about when we hoped she would be born, and i sent up quick prayers all day long that i would still be here.
just like every wednesday, the girls and i planned our 'night out'. this week we had planned to order pizza and make ice cream sundaes.
as soon as i walked in the door, pizza in hand, i was instructed to sit down in the living room. they told me while i was gone, they had gotten a call from the midwife saying that because of some suspicious test results that they would be inducing her labor the nextday.
i fought back tears, and on wednesday night, i watched as victoria learned what she would be experiencing the next day, from our 'on-call' doula. i watched as she introduced herself to the parents of her daughter. and i watched as she said goodnight to her mom, and wondered what emotions could be coursing between the two of them as they hugged goodnight.
on wednesday, march 5, 2008, jessi, kendra, and i went to my very first doctor's appointment with one of the girls, and i looked, in awe, at my first ever ultrasound.
on thursday, march 5, 2009, just a few floors up from that doctor's office, jess and i sat together, again, waiting on a baby. this time feeling like veterans.
"Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done,
and proclaim that his name is exalted.
Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things;
i have decided that i cannot use the delayed posting feature on blogger. i end up thinking about it a few minutes before it's supposed to be published, and i cancel it. not sure why? i just always convince myself that it was stupid.
i packed up my first couple of boxes tonight. and i finally plugged in my little ipod shuffle so it can charge, and so i can start making a killer road trip playlist. though, i'm sure my dad will have his 'nanopod' as well, and we will be competing for air time, but that's okay because we have 42 hours of road to fill. i am so looking forward to picking him up at the airport, and really looking forward to setting out across the country with my pop. i know it is something we will always remember.
a nice shot of wyoming
after talking with kalle last night about their road trip out here last year, i got the crazy idea that we should buy a tent and camp out along our route about half of the time (and do hotels the other half). i ran this idea by my dad and he just started laughing. i'm not sure if he was laughing at the thought of me camping, or if he was laughing at the thought of him camping.
growing up, we were not a camping type of family. my parents just aren't into it. i was telling jared today that dad might bring along a travel iron and ironing board and attempt to starch his shirts while we're camped out along the south dakota highway.
also i am not pretending that i would be especially adept at the whole camping thing, but i'd like to try. but after my dad stopped laughing when i suggested it, he said,
"um, let me think on that one for a day or two."
today has been one of the nicest days i have had in a long time. woke up early to a snuggle puppy, and then headed out to breakfast at portage bay cafe near UW. kalle and i had been comparing notes for months on their menu, and how amazing their food is, so we finally met up there, and got to talk over coffee, omelets, and pancakes. really sweet time.
vegan pancakes, topped with good things
came home and saw that sweet jess had planned a get together with some friends before i head out. felt really loved.
went outside in the sunshine and warm air, and played fetch with beulah, while texting back and forth with my brother while he was in class. we talked about all the things we will get to do together in a few weeks, and laughed at the thought of dad and i sleeping in a tent.
forsythe park, savannah georgia
then i went upstairs and watched dvr'ed highlights of the bachelor from last night, as i had only seen the last 30 minutes of the after the final rose special. the bachelor was maddening, but time on the bed with glory and jess was really nice. then jess curled my hair using the flat iron. i didn't know if it would work, but she made it work! so now if i practice, maybe i can get it down.
after that a really mellow afternoon, and then our newest girl, who is from mexico, and only speaks spanish, cooked an amazing dinner for us. really and truly did this body some good.
pretty much as of today, i am really not doing any new beginnings stuff. really just focusing on moving, and it feels strange already. like they're in the other room doing Bible study, and i feel like i'm playing hooky.
i don't know, several people have asked me questions about how i am feeling about moving, or how prepared i am for certain aspects of it, and for the most part, i am totally unprepared. and today, i just had to become okay with that. i am getting there, and hopefully tomorrow another piece will be put in place, and then another one after that.
i think i prepare as much as i can, and look for a job as earnestly as i can, but still be willing to step out even if it seems impossible. really not sure at all what life will look like a month from now. weird, huh?