butch

i cannot sleep. it's now 11:06pm on tuesday. this has been the nuttiest day. i spent the first half of my day praying and walking beulah and getting ready for my parents to come up so we could go look at cars.

i'm writing this now because i don't want to forget anything about today. i received so many texts and emails letting me know that you were praying. thank you.

as my dad and i walked around the lot, my mom brought a salesmen over named butch. he wasn't a swindler, wasn't high pressure, just a good ol' north carolina man. we all talked easily and as the day went on, we all really came to like this butch guy. in between phone calls and financing negotiations he sort of 'accidentally' shared that he and his wife had separated a few months ago, he continued to talk and his voice cracked and he tried to control it, but couldn't. and started to cry right there in his little cubicle.

the three of us sat and listened. i don't think anyone had listened to that man in a long time. as quick as it began, it was over, and we went on about the business of buying a car. we spent about 6 hours at the dealership today, and got to know ol' butch pretty well by the end of things. as we were leaving, he told my parents he'd be sure to take care of me anytime my car needed to be serviced, and that they shouldn't worry. he slipped an envelope in my dad's hand and we all went our separate ways.

my parents called me on the way home, and read me the note that butch had written. he said he believed that Lord had brought us there today, and that he was so thankful for our kindness and willingness to listen to his broken heart.

we walked onto the lot this afternoon needing favor, and he had walked into work this morning needing someone to listen. and the Lord provided for both of us today.

in the middle

i am at home at 9:54am on a tuesday. i have had the last few days off (the twins are on a trip with their grandma), and i'm thankful for that because my car finally decided to bite the dust yesterday. in the middle of 3rd street during rush hour, with beulah in the car (at least it didn't happen with the twins in the car, thank you Jesus). thinking about attempting life without a car is..interesting. in the grand scheme of life, this is such a tiny problem, i know that. but right now, this feels like an insurmountable mountain of a problem.

can i tell you a secret? in situations like this, when an issue is not life or death, a little part of me gets excited. because in my mind, there seems to be no solution. but God is at work on my behalf. i have to believe that.

gosh, this sounds so over-spiritual, but He has taught me so much through this car thing. trying to be faithful to keep up my car as well as i possibly can has felt like i am investing in nothing, and i have rebelled many times feeling like i shouldn't have to change a tire, or check my oil, or put a new hose on my crank case ventilator (might have gotten the name of that one wrong..). but He is teaching me faithfulness. and He is teaching me to check my pride on what i think i deserve.

so, i'm sitting here on my bed, praying for a solution, His solution. because His ideas are greater, and His provision is better than what i could run around and try to work out on my own.

get excited, because His answer will come. not just about a car, or about a job, but about the big things too. illness or marital problems, death or infertility. His answer is coming for you, too. so we will continue sowing seeds of faithfulness, and wait on His solution.

because how much better is that?