a few reasons the next two days might kill me.

phew. i feel like i can't catch my breath. i have been working two jobs for over six months now, and really my 'dog job' doesn't take up a lot of time, it's just that saturday is like my day, ya know? my make pancakes, eggs, and bacon, and sit on the couch with my cup of coffee for three hours day. or at least it feels like it should be.

but since i go into work at 2pm, it never feels relaxed. it just feels like i'm wasting my non-working time, if i'm not productive.

this week, in general, has been hectic. flat tire on wednesday which pushed all of my personal assistant errands from wednesday to today, along with my regular friday errands. which made my morning look like this:

• up later than i should have been this morning (kristin and i were up at 2am after hearing a series of about 6 gunshots, which then meant, kristin, beulah and i hunkered down in my bed for the rest of the night..not exactly quality sleep, and i'm pretty sure i'm getting sick and probably snored..sorry k).
• stumbled out the door.
• coffee
• babies up, dressed, fed, lunches made and packed, dropped at school.
• toys r us
• babies r us
• old navy
• costco
• subway
• harris teeter
• monogram shop
• pick kids up
• put them down for nap
• unpack the loaded car
• fold their laundry
• pack the car up for their overnight grandma stay

now, i'm sitting here: brain dead.

on days like today, i wish i didn't have a second job. i wish tomorrow was quiet and uneventful. but nope, tomorrow i'll work from 2-7 dog work, and then come straight to nanny house to watch the kids during the parents' work christmas party. so today doesn't feel like friday, it feels like..tuesday, or something.

i do want to say i feel very fortunate to have two jobs that enable me to pay bills and do life. i think maybe though for my own sanity, i should scale things back a bit.

for now, i will continue to sit and listen to bethany dillon's latest album that i bought this morning. it is oh so good. i just want someone to come and take care of me and pat my head, and maybe give me a cookie. is that too much to ask??

i thought so, oh well.

"You break through my deafness
Swing open the curtain
And I find the courage to get up and walk
I forget my weakness
For You’ve answered my loneliness
And through the mud on my eyes
I can see my Hope has come

You’ll have to show me where to go
It’s been so long since I’ve used my feet
I got up today a cripple
And now I’m dancing
So let the power of You move
Not stop with what I can see."

--bethany dillon

BUY IT.