happy rainy day

between sheets(imogen heap)

all is love (karen o and the kids (where the wild things are soundtrack))

half life(imogen heap)

the winter(balmorhea)

evident utensil(chairlift)

milord(edith piaf)

remember(harry nilsson)

ooooooctober

about to hit you with a really lame bulleted list. i'm watching grey's anatomy so, i'm barely focusing, but haven't updated the ol' blog in forever. fall is here in charlotte, and things are happening.

• we're almost ready to *hopefully* sign a lease for a new place. i say 'we' because i've found two great gals who need a new place. location..perfection (for those of you familiar with charlotte, it's about two blocks away from the plaza, and directly behind the van landingham estate). it's a 4 bedroom, with a screened in porch (eeeeeee!), nice deck and almost 2 acre fenced in backyard (ahhhhh!!). it's on a quiet dead end street, and i love it and want to bake and have people over there all the time. if you'd be praying that all the kinks get worked out, and all the repairs get made in a timely manner, i would appreciate it! barring any complications, moving november 1st, baby.
• i bought a domain name for the business venture i mentioned, and maybe after this weekend's brainstorming/planning session, i'll give you some details, but i'm a little shy about it right now because it's early.
• my friend raechel introduced me to amelie's bakery this week, and i love LOVE it. it's open 24 hours a day (not that it really matters to me, i go to bed earlier than most grannies), but for those night owls out there, it's a great place to go get a salted caramel brownie at 2am, if you've got a hankering.
• baby hogan. maria has the first trimester pukes..jared and i made a late night trip to get some antinausea medicine and peppermint tea and gum. but really, does anything help with those dry heaves? let's be real..nothing really does, right? i love maria, and she's a champ. round of applause for all first trimester moms.
• tonight i get to hang out with some of my favorite people, the hubatkas, and my brother and sister. then having a slumber party with ally, rocco and beulah. fun times.
• also, when did grey's anatomy get SO good again?

happy first weekend in october, everyone!

this is like..

a string around my finger to remind me to write a blog tomorrow. so much is happening. can't wait to catch you up.


and hey from Beulah girl. just 'cus (cuz?) oh whatever.

back at it

a friend of mine was saying she writes mental blogs which makes me laugh for several reasons:

• aren't mental blogs, really just thinking?
• she hates blogs, but writes them anyway throughout her day..in her head.
• funny also, because she says that she will recite her mental blogs aloud to her husband at the end of the day, and that they're awesome.

i don't doubt the quality of these mental blogs for a second. the whole thing still makes me laugh. however funny that is to me, i definitely do it too. sometimes while i'm driving (the site of most of my mental blogs), i'll pull out my phone and put a title in the notes on my phone. days later i'll look at it and have no idea what i was thinking about. which is always frustrating because i obviously thought it was awesome enough to scurry around to find my phone and type out a subject. but when i actually have time, i've forgotten the little snippets that i could write a blog around.

i wonder how long it will be (for real) before we can just hit download somewhere and have our thoughts in written form. that sounds crazy and too invasive, but sometimes it'd be nice. the bad would outweigh the good though.

(bad parts: friends' bad haircuts, ugly babies, having a crush..i think at 25, i may be too old to use the term "crush"..not sure?).

here are some things swishing around in my head lately as i'm driving.

• online dating--i have very specific and strong feelings about this.
• songs that encapsulate certain experiences in my life.
• time at remuda, why i don't talk about it much to people i meet now, and how i still have not even BEGUN to process some of the things that happened there.
• how to live a life where i'm broken-hearted over the sin and pride in my heart, but not living in the dirt wallowing about it either.
• oh, also the potential business i'm brainstorming with my friend (the mental blogger). this could be something. but i'm not going to jinx it. i'll fill you in when/if we get it going.

so that's it. i just walked the double stroller down to southpark mall, and obviously wore the wrong shoes as i'm looking at a pair of blistered up feet. i went down there because after talking about coffee with everyone this morning, i thought i'd give it a try (after having an incredibly weak stomach while being sick, there are still several things i cannot seem to eat). no dice. which is upsetting for a person such as myself. as weird as it is, i find a tiny portion of my identity in my love and consumption of coffee. not because i think it makes me cool or anything. but because it's cozy, it's sweaters and blankets and rainy days, and that's me. if i were a season i'd be autumn, with heavy blanket and a cup of coffee in my hand with a friend on the way over to talk. and now i've been exiled to the land of hot tea.

that's okay though. i'll survive. and maybe i'll even write one of those mental blogs during the time i save not being at starbucks.

getting over the hump

here's what is getting me through these last few days of isolation:


thinking about pretty get togethers during fall months.


this picture just makes me feel good.


hot tea is helping, since i still can't stomach coffee. yep, bad huh?


my sweet girl. has laid here with me for almost two weeks. won't get out of bed unless i do. little baby.


speaking of baby, i'm ready to see the twins:( i miss them so.

headed to the doctor tomorrow to see if i can be set free.

still here

okay, the last couple of days have been hard. let's not mince words. but hard in the relative sense. not long term hard, just right now hard.

we've been praying for two things specifically since saturday night.

1. that the rash would not spread to my face. if it gets near your eyes it can have permanent effects on your eyesight.

2. that i caught it early enough to prevent something called post herpetic neuralgia, meaning, if i had let this go unchecked and unmedicated, i could have this pain and burning in my right side permanently.

so far, both prayers are being answered. thank you if you have been praying, and if you haven't known what to pray for, now you do, so i will selfishly ask for more prayers to get through the next 10 or so days with the hope of bypassing either of those complications.

also, you may have surmised that i am definetly out of work until monday, september 21.

this is hard.

my mom has been here until today, and they will return this weekend. she has done everything for me. because a lot of the symptoms of this seem similar to mono (i've never had mono) from what i've heard: basically fatigue and flu like symptoms, with the weirdo nerve issues, which feel something like a mix between a horrible sun burn and being pricked by needles all over my right side (and itching). weird, huh?

the good thing is, i actually feel the best i've felt tonight!! light at the end of the tunnel.

i have made my way through several books and several thousand movies (or so it seems). currently watching Twister. i just can't help myself. I love that movie.

so there's my update. it feels lonely around here. and i have a while to go. but i have faith that there is purpose to this time. when i find out, maybe i'll fill you in.

love to you all, and if you have book or movie suggestions HIT ME WITH 'EM.

Formerly Secret Hogan Video

Trying this, it might not work because I've been posting from my phone today. Let's give it a shot. Here's how Jared and Maria announced Baby Hogan's impending arrival:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmjWtsRxFxw

Let me know if this worked:).