Monday, May 11, 2009

not so great expectations

this past weekend, i watched a movie called 'last chance harvey'.  i had wanted to see it for a while, 
and towards the end of the movie, emma thompson says,

"I think it's actually easier for me to be disappointed. 
I think I'm actually angry at you for trying to take that away."

as soon as she said it, i realized how true that is for me, as well. probably in multiple areas 
of my life, but definitely in the area of relationships. i set myself up for disappointment, i 
expect it, and when i am disappointed, i feel entitled to feel sorry for myself, and tell myself 
that this is just my lot in life. but, if God forbid, someone does meet my needs, i want to hide, 
because i know the longer it lasts, the harder it will be when they do disappoint me.

yesterday in church we talked about risks versus security, and how we long for increased 
security and reduced risk. but how God encourages us to reduce our security and increase the 
risk in our lives, which will cause increased faith in Him.

as easy as it is for me to feel 'let down' by the state of my singleness at 25 (being real here, 
people), i'm just not sure what good my disappointment is going to do me anymore?

i have been challenged to expect more, risk more, and as a result, love more. and when 
someone does come along to steal my disappointment, hopefully i'll be ready to let
it go.


Jennie said...

whoa. get out of my head lauren hogan...let's meet for coffee soon! I'll come to the East Blvd Starbucks!

Carrie said...

sweet post. authentic. love it. let's see each other. love reading your blog but would love to see your pretty lil face.


jared said...

love you sis.

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