merry christmas to me

hello everyone.

i just bought myself a terrific christmas gift. i've had my eye on a few first editions of julia child's "mastering the art of french cooking" (volume 1) for months and months. today i decided i'd buy both volumes 1&2 new from amazon, wear them out, use them, age them, and hand them down to my daughters and granddaughters one day (if that is how life plays out). and the thought of this has made my afternoon.

life is good these days. right now i have about 16 projects going, none completed. a half painted bathroom, a 3/4 completed wreath, and an apartment smack in the middle of being home-ified. lots of plans are incomplete as well, but that's just taking up space in my head, and not on my dining room table (like all the piles of glitter, pine cones, and felt..eek).

last night i finally received some prints from jared and maria's wedding. having this picture up in my house is joyous.

also, i would like to recommend nellie mckay's new album. the entire album is a tribute to doris day, and it is SASSY and festive.

nellie's album here.

happy sleet day, guys.

be careful..

guys, i am finally watching 'food inc.' and let me warn you: you can never unsee this movie. it is shocking. actually shocking.

i am hoping to get a copy of the movie to show friends and family, if you're interested in seeing it, let me know. i'm far from an activist but something has to change, that's for sure.

here's the website

i posted the trailer a while back, but here it is again:

--foodINC--

a few reasons the next two days might kill me.

phew. i feel like i can't catch my breath. i have been working two jobs for over six months now, and really my 'dog job' doesn't take up a lot of time, it's just that saturday is like my day, ya know? my make pancakes, eggs, and bacon, and sit on the couch with my cup of coffee for three hours day. or at least it feels like it should be.

but since i go into work at 2pm, it never feels relaxed. it just feels like i'm wasting my non-working time, if i'm not productive.

this week, in general, has been hectic. flat tire on wednesday which pushed all of my personal assistant errands from wednesday to today, along with my regular friday errands. which made my morning look like this:

• up later than i should have been this morning (kristin and i were up at 2am after hearing a series of about 6 gunshots, which then meant, kristin, beulah and i hunkered down in my bed for the rest of the night..not exactly quality sleep, and i'm pretty sure i'm getting sick and probably snored..sorry k).
• stumbled out the door.
• coffee
• babies up, dressed, fed, lunches made and packed, dropped at school.
• toys r us
• babies r us
• old navy
• costco
• subway
• harris teeter
• monogram shop
• pick kids up
• put them down for nap
• unpack the loaded car
• fold their laundry
• pack the car up for their overnight grandma stay

now, i'm sitting here: brain dead.

on days like today, i wish i didn't have a second job. i wish tomorrow was quiet and uneventful. but nope, tomorrow i'll work from 2-7 dog work, and then come straight to nanny house to watch the kids during the parents' work christmas party. so today doesn't feel like friday, it feels like..tuesday, or something.

i do want to say i feel very fortunate to have two jobs that enable me to pay bills and do life. i think maybe though for my own sanity, i should scale things back a bit.

for now, i will continue to sit and listen to bethany dillon's latest album that i bought this morning. it is oh so good. i just want someone to come and take care of me and pat my head, and maybe give me a cookie. is that too much to ask??

i thought so, oh well.

"You break through my deafness
Swing open the curtain
And I find the courage to get up and walk
I forget my weakness
For You’ve answered my loneliness
And through the mud on my eyes
I can see my Hope has come

You’ll have to show me where to go
It’s been so long since I’ve used my feet
I got up today a cripple
And now I’m dancing
So let the power of You move
Not stop with what I can see."

--bethany dillon

BUY IT.

(mostly materialistic) thankful thursday

why, hello there.

can't seem to get into the swing of blogging lately. but thankful thursday is an easy way to jump back in.

i am thankful for:

• listening to classic disney soundtracks while the twins play and i blog.
• designspongeonline
• etsy
• cardiganempire
• my new roommate and precious apartment
• holiday crafts
• being able to shop for baby clothes for a family member
• putting some twinkle lights up in said precious apartment
• my super cheap brown target sweater (pic here)
• getting to spend all day saturday with laura troutman (pic here)
• concert/catching up with KCamp tonight
• opportunity to speak last week at CIU. really thankful to have the chance to speak my story out loud. it was both therapeutic and exciting. maybe i want to speak more often..? weird, huh? i'm not a speaker, but it was really fun.
• clark's antiques and sleepy poet flea market.
• two words: TRADER JOE'S
• this cute desktop background
• white hydrangeas

sorry these are all super surface-y..? oh well. happy day, everyone.

[elvis presley's 'santa claus is back in town' is maybe my favorite christmas song (competing with otis redding's 'merry christmas baby' and anything by vince guaraldi). this song is not to be confused with 'here comes santa claus'--two very different songs. here's a link to it on iTunes, all i have is the locked version. this song is definitely worth buying. it's sassy.]

quickie

oh hey everyone. you little dearhearts, you.

well, today we got to know our hogan baby a little more, and found out she's a sweet baby girl. it's weird, it made it real in a whole new way, and i am reeling from the love i already feel for that little peanut.

i only have about 10 minutes before nanny parents are supposed to get home. so this will be a quick one. it's been a big few days in my life. right now, i'm just tired and ready to rest this weekend. guys, i don't work for even one tiny second this weekend. that is the first time since april that i can say that. that is not a joke.

one of my closest friends, laura troutman, is home on furlough from slovakia. i saw her briefly yesterday but tomorrow she's coming up and we plan to do nothing and make people deliver food to us and veg in front of the tv.

also, one more cute little item:

how sweet are these? i got the blue one, and the green owl one is for KCamp. alright gotta run!

come up for air

i am not sure. really, about anything. i am five years into this whole paying bills, being an adult thing. and boy, it's been trial by fire. i wouldn't say there is anything i have figured out, well, besides don't buy something extravagant and think the rent will pay itself (it won't, surprising, huh?), and also, the electric company doesn't care if you don't have electricity, so pay that too. don't get whatever stupid thing you think you need, pay for your lights first.

that's pretty much the extent of my financial education.

but i'll tell ya, it's a funny thing to realize that this is it. i am a grown up.

expectations are dangerous for me. i suppose they are for everyone, because not communicating expectations to friends, family, coworkers etc., can be the root of much strife in relationships (my opinion), or maybe having them at all is the problem. i think i even wrote about this not long ago, that my expectations for the holiday season are set high. and i am always disappointed, not because anything went wrong, but because i had a vision, but life still ended up being life, and nothing was neat, and every moment wasn't cozy and warm.

but some were, and there were slices of time where my expectations were met--mixed in with the reality of a world where we say mean things sometimes, and we have habits that are hard to break. and attitudes that aren't always full of holiday cheer (read: holy spirit).

if i measured my life up against my hopes and expectations for where i'd be right now, maybe it would be a let down. maybe? but expectations, like hopes, can turn on a dime. and right now, my expectations for life are pretty simple. give away as much love as i can to those that surround me. see what happens when i try to stop feeling entitled to anything. that's a start, anyway.

picture is linked to a really interesting book by spurgeon called "the minister's fainting fits", which talks about depression and discouragement in ministry. quality.