blessings still flowing

right up until the end.

on tuesday, march 4, 2008, i came to new beginnings.

on wednesday, march 4, 2009, we found out that victoria was further along than we had estimated.  victoria and i made plans to walk a lot over the next week as a means of inducing labor, so that i could be here when the baby is born.

jessi, vic, and i talked all afternoon about when we hoped she would be born, and i sent up quick prayers all day long that i would still be here.  

just like every wednesday, the girls and i planned our 'night out'.  this week we had planned to order pizza and make ice cream sundaes.  

as soon as i walked in the door, pizza in hand, i was instructed to sit down in the living room. they told me while i was gone, they had gotten a call from the midwife saying that because of some suspicious test results that they would be inducing her labor the next day.  

i fought back tears, and on wednesday night, i watched as victoria learned what she would be experiencing the next day, from our 'on-call' doula.  i watched as she introduced herself to the parents of her daughter.  and i watched as she said goodnight to her mom, and wondered what emotions could be coursing between the two of them as they hugged goodnight.  

on wednesday, march 5, 2008, jessi, kendra, and i went to my very first doctor's appointment with one of the girls, and i looked, in awe, at my first ever ultrasound.  

on thursday, march 5, 2009, just a few floors up from that doctor's office, jess and i sat together, again, waiting on a baby.  this time feeling like veterans.  

   "Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; 

    make known among the nations what he has done, 

    and proclaim that his name is exalted.

     Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things; 

       let this be known to all the world.

     Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, 

       for great is the Holy One of Israel among you."

Isaiah 12:4-6

considering events

"To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell."  Thomas Merton

you know how when a significant event happens in life, everything is heightened.  it adds both clarity and confusion.  witnessing a birth feels so closely linked to the feelings of experiencing the death of someone around you.  you drive around wondering why everyone is so caught up in their trip to the grocery store.  but we still go and do.  all the time feeling like you want to scream and tell everyone that this is LIFE.  a whole person, with a whole lifetime of stories, and plans ahead of them is here.  a baby that was just with God, is now with us. 

that is beauty.  

a baby that a month ago, almost stayed with God forever, is now here.  and he is a brother, a son, and a nephew.  that is joy.  

so now, when life, and bad attitudes, and kitchens in shambles creep back into my consciousness, i pray for that clarity.  i pray that i would not make it about me or my schedule.  because God is here, and he is working, and i want to resist the pull of my own plans.  

thank you for weeks like this, Lord, and may i find your truth within them.  

my top moments of the week

• some solid time with elias and glory on sunday morning.  
• hilarious house meeting on sunday night with all three girls.  lots of pregnancy questions, talk about 7-eleven, and promises from the girls to "be really, really good this week". 
• watching the bachelor with jess.  
• monday, we were able to get one of our girls into a really great doctor's office, which is awesome.  it was really sweet to see her treated well, and really come out of her shell some during the appointment, and generally in the house.
• our newest girl.  i never really know what is okay to share, and what's not.  but oh, do we have stories.  let's just say, she is an endless source of good stories.  AND she has never been to wendy's, taco bell, or subway.  
• tuesday, i had a doctor's appointment.  the lady i saw is one of the midwives that has worked with a few of our girls.  during the appointment the following was said, "well, you need to go ahead and find mr. right, and start having babies, because you only have about 10 more really fertile years".  listen, lady, i am surrounded by 'fertility' almost as much as you are, don't play, i get it.
• the pure excitement of postpartum roller skating, and trampoline jumping.  
• dentist visit in little vietnam.  really strange, and for some reason there were about 11 or 12 hole-in-the-wall dentist's offices within one block.  very strange, and i watched mr. rogers (in vietnamese), and he sang this song (for some reason he switched to english for this part): 

Some are fancy on the outside. 

Some are fancy on the inside. 

Everybody's fancy. 

Everybody's fine. 

Your body's fancy and so is mine. 

Boys are boys from the beginning. 

Girls are girls right from the start. 

Everybody's fancy. 

Everybody's fine. 

Your body's fancy and so is mine. 

Girls grow up to be the mommies. 

Boys grow up be the daddies.

Everybody's fancy. 

Everybody's fine. 

Your body's fancy and so is mine. 

I think you're a special person 

And I like your ins and outsides. 

Everbody's fancy. 

Everybody's fine. 

Your body's fancy and so is mine. 

• my first ever trip to pf changs with jess and kal.  it was exactly what i needed, and just really fun.  love them.  shout out to leigh and gray for the gift card!
• today, sitting here listening to our somali girl watching maury povich.  
• catching up on lost, and hopefully the office and 30 rock sometime today!
• and it's valentine's day, and i'm not even a little bitter about it.

 

a good way to spend a sunday

sorry to be so vague on the last post.  after a pretty hard week, yesterday, one of our former 'tenants' and her boyfriend showed up at our house high on drugs, and i answered the door.  after a really bizarre few minutes, and nick coming out to help her, she left, but said she'd be back.  

it was very disconcerting, considering she had just been released from her third stay in the mental hospital, and she met her boyfriend while in the hospital.  i was sufficiently freaked out, and my teeth were chattering for like an hour after she left.  

we spent a good portion of our afternoon with our eyes on the window, waiting for her to show up, so we could call the cops.  long story short, everyone sort of went about their evenings after she didn't show up for a while, and i came back down and set up camp at the dining room table, just in case she showed up.  pretty much as soon as i sat down, i saw her headlights, and ran upstairs to let nick and jess know, so we could go ahead and call the police.  

her second visit was relatively uneventful, and she just packed up some stuff and left.  we never went outside.  

i'm at the point where i can laugh about it, as long as she doesn't show back up anytime soon.  

this is what i'm doing right now:

wall-e with this man.

it's official.

this has been the craziest week of my life.  hands effing down.  

lightening fast

just a quick one. had a night out with two of the the girls. the best part of which was seeing high school musical 3. hilariously awful and wonderful.

i'm telling you, it's sad when you're driving home from seeing high school musical and all you can think about is finishing a book about vampires. i'm not sure what is happening to me, but i think i like it.

new beginnings ramblings

my favorite quotes/moments of our week--

"I think that it is our job as christians to support the abortion ministry."--host at the Adoption Ministry benefit (one of the several times he confused those words).

fenny and i going to church on sunday, and because of her kenyan accent and because her name is unusual, no one understood what she was saying when introduced. "nice to meet you, funny" happened a few times. after that, we decided to switch names, and from that point on, i introduced myself as fenny. and fenny was lauren.

this week i've really been trying to bring beu downstairs more often and make her more apart of the house. i'd taken her to vet, and he'd told me that i need to be more "dominating". so i came home guns blazing, and explained to everyone my plan for domination. after dinner, fenny was holding glor, and glory was playing with fenny's face and started slapping her. then fenny deadpans, "i think she is trying to dominate me".



this clip IS one of our girls. not even one degree of exaggeration. come over, you'll see.

during fenny's ultrasound, the technician said, "in case you were interested, the right ovary contributed to the pregnancy." fenny's response, "shame on that ovary".

on friday during jess' ultrasound, she sent me a text saying she was pregnant with quadruplets. elias i were playing at the time, and i called jess in a frenzy and told her to "shut the hell up". oops.

anna wants to name her firstborn "shequillia". say it outloud, yep, "shellkillya"

that brings us to today, there have been so many ridiculous comments from our first three girls (who are visiting today) that i don't even know where to start. most are pregnancy related, and most are gross. i'll steer clear of those, unless you little sickies want to hear them (you probably do).

day of days

agh.  i do not get a chance to write on here (and on other certain writing blogs) like i would like to.  

i have a stockpile of thoughts to blurt out to you, but can't seem to make the leap from thought to word.  our house is fuuuulll, and i am hiding in nick and jess' upstairs while i am 'monitorsitting'.  4 pregnant girls rummaging through a kitchen is oddly disconcerting, and sends me running for the hills.  

our two newest girls are really interesting, and seem to not hate us.  but let's give it time.

moving on to more pleasant things.  like the confirmation of baby #3 for the connollys--i am hoping it's okay to talk about, i am actually going to wait to get the okay from jess to publish this.  i can't believe it.  it's so great.  it reminds me that finding out you're pregnant doesn't always have to be a crisis.  

also--i just bought my plane ticket home for christmas.  that is exciting too.  december 13-31 i'll be in the southeast.  

upcoming posts--

• 3-5 wishes (inspired by a viewing of aladdin)
  
• insecurity seen for what it is
  
• being uncomfortably comfortable
• and once i get a realistic perspective on my own bundle of faults, how do you live alongside other's bundles?

quickie

headed out to the grocery store.  

i went to the doctor with one of the girls yesterday.  it was awesome.  i forgot!  i just forgot how exciting this process can be, if we are 'let in'.  

in other news, jess may have convinced me that i am getting sympathy sickness from all these pregnant pukers.  i had 2 slices of toast for lunch.  it's all mental, i know it.  but still..it's painful to watch them try to eat.  like they're being tortured.  that is..unless they're pounding a chalupa.  

also, if you feel like praying for a puppy, you could pray for beulah, actually more for me, because she got fixed on tuesday, and trying to keep that crazy contained, is almost impossible. poor thing, she can't run around and play at all.  so maybe Jesus, you can magically take away some of the energy.  forever, Lord?  maybe just take some of the energy for eternity.  that'd be great.  for real. 

must go, fred meyer is wondering where we've been.

another saturday

hiii all.  

i am currently watching free willy.  i haven't seen this movie since i was (hold for imdb search), wait this might be free willy 2.  well if this is the first one i was 9, and if it's the second one i was 11.  jesse has a lady love, so i'm thinking it's the second one because i don't remember that from the first one.  anyway, too much free willy speculation for one blog.  moving on.

new girl moving in this afternoon.  it's an interesting thing, it is really easy for me to be cynical about our 'girl situation' but, hopefully she will want to be here, that is always a step in the right direction.  

i am trying to refuel myself with a rather large cup of coffee.  hopefully it will get the ball rolling in a few minutes and i will want to do something other than blogging and free willy.  

also, in absolute vulnerability, if you guys could be praying for me (and for the connollys as well) as far as support goes.  i have one family that is supporting me right now, and i am at 1/5 of what i need to be in a responsible place financially.  i am going to have to send out another email in this next week, and if you guys could just pray that i will have wisdom as far as how to word the email, and also that the email will be sent to the right people.  and that mental connections will be made between my friends and organizations/businesses that are interested in giving to non-profits.  

thanks ahead of time for the prayers.

a week from today my parents come!  agh.  so fun.  

out the door

good morning.

i'm about to head out the door with one of our girls, and then jess and i are headed to the gym. but just wanted to say 'hello'. i still have to put on some shoes, brush my teeth, grab a water and my bag, and find my most likely misplaced keys. in six minutes.

but here's this:

ingrid michaelson--keep breathing

just a quick little something on a tuesday. looove.

blocked

i just watched an interview with steven curtis chapman's family on good morning america (via youtube).  it is truly heartbreaking.  they have been on my mind since the accident, but seeing this just leveled me.  

we have another girl moving in.  it feels so much different than with our first three girls.  mostly because i got here after those three were already settled in, and there was a rhythm in the house. 

my sweet friends barry and stewart have been here this week, and that was so fun.  they are on a fun adventure riding across the country, and so we got to have them at the house with us for a few days.  we rode up to port angeles yesterday so they could hop a ferry to canada.   

after a tumultuous few weeks around here, it will be nice for things to settle in and get a new rhythm going. 

we'll see how that goes.

i feel like i have been spinning my wheels emotionally.  and spiritually too, for that matter.  as i sat outside this afternoon, and tried to write, i ended up pitching a fit in the general direction of the Lord.  it seemed so valid in the moment.  

time for the olympics.  

zoned out and wonky-eyed

so tired, trying to watch project runway on youtube, keep blinking to stay awake. must walk upstairs.

beulah update: that little beast weighs 13 lbs. and she is awesome.

spent the day with anna, here's a snippet of our day:

anna: "what kind of weird music is this?"

lauren: "uhh, do you really not know who this is? i have let you down during the time you lived with us. this is elton john."

anna: "oh right, you mean elton john newton."

lauren: "i'm sorry?"

anna: "elton john newton" (belligerence)

lauren: "wait, are you thinking about olivia newton john?"

uhhhh

in the coming days you can look forward to a pretty awesome set of pictures of jessi and i dressed up as each other.  as soon as i can get it off of my camera.  

we are headed to a mariner's game tonight.  i went when jared and maria were here, and it was so fun.  but tonight--we're headed to the best seats in the house.  deluuuuuxe box seats.  hopefully we'll get some good pictures of that experience as well.  

i have definitely decided that i am MORE than ready for a new group of girls.  nick and jessi are totally occupied without them, because they have 2 full time jobs (otherwise known as elias and glory).  but me?  yeah, i am going to need something to do/someone to make fun of pronto.  i'm only half kidding about that last part.  i just want to DO something.  even if it is being exasperated/completely amused by:

• monkeys
  
• straightjackets
  
• finascos
  
• 6 am (sis AM)
  
• 8 pound people coming out of cooches
  
• chinese crustaceans
• baJA fresh
• or just general crazy
  

all of this to say, if you happen to live in the puget sound area, and even if you don't, maybe come/fly/drive here.  no, really.  i'm not kidding.  

can anyone hear me?  you there?  

come see me.  now.

please?