sunday

just made some coffee, sitting on the couch with beulah, about to get ready for church. and i am content.

i was thinking about my dad. and how almost every day he sends me a message that says, "love you sweetie". i am blessed and so fortunate to have the parents that i do.

and what i do isn't especially meaningful, but i find so much joy in life (my life!). three years ago that was not the case, three years ago, i didn't know where God had gone, and 2 and a half years ago, i stumbled upon him in the desert.

as i sit here drinking my hot coffee on an overcast sunday, it's hard to believe that God saw the possibility in renewing my heart. so he did.

on the most simple of days it hits me, i am joyful in this life, in this body, and in the Lord i serve.

and that is a great feeling.

9,125 days (a photo essay)

this is what a 25 year old looks like brushing her teeth

today has been a terrific day already, thanks to friends and family.  woke up to several texts and sweet emails from YOU.  

yummmm

had a normal morning, dropped Beulah off at 'school' (that's right..), went to east boulevard starbucks, and got myself a bagel and some coffee.  

morning commute

got a hilarious message from my brother and sister-in-law (that's right, i call you that now, and have for several weeks).  

jessi wrote an amazing blog wishing me happy birthday, and gave me the BEST gift possible.  a shot of baby 3.  i cried.  

thank you, jess.

i've had a normal day with the babies.

my bosses.

i decided to pack them up and head to south park mall to treat myself to a nice little drink or maybe a new shirt or something.  (too bad i got in and couldn't find my debit card..had some cash, crisis sort of averted).  i drove up at the house, and found this:

2 strawberry and 2 red velvet:)

my parents sent me the sweetest little package of cupcakes!  

such a treat!

the babies are down for their nap (sort of..i hear you mr. b, don't play).  regular afternoon, and then take-out ethiopian food/blockbuster night with ally.  sweet day.  

thank you friends!

i can't even tell you

how much has changed since my last post.  

last time i wrote, i was laying around at my parent's unmotivated to finish packing up my car.  well, the rest of monday picked up a good bit.  including being surprise-hired by the nanny mama who turned me down the night before.  confused?  yes, so was i.  

so, i drove up here monday night, saw jared briefly and ate mcdonald's with him, on his way back to savannah from working in charlotte for the day.  got to the house, unpacked my little bit of stuff, and settled in.  tuesday and wednesday i only worked half-days with the kids (11 month old twins) so that i could get my life under control, and also train with the outgoing nanny.  

today is my first day flying solo.  so far, so good.  they are busy little bees.  but we're having fun.  

they're napping right now, and without internet at our house, this will most likely become my blogging time.  i am quite tired after a busy week.  but feel energized by the change, if you'd asked me two days ago how i was doing, i might have started crying.  but today, i am feeling peaceful.  you know those times in life (and maybe this is just me) where you can't really listen to anything but worship music, just to help you make it through the day?  that's where i've been, just sort of grasping at whatever i can get a hold of.  

love to each of you, going to sip on some coffee and enjoy the rest of the quieeeeeetttt.  

a mess.

i feel like a wreck right now.  let me paint the picture.  

i am currently slumped on my parent's couch, wearing crocs (which almost automatically puts me in a bad mood), old camp crestridge sweatpants with no drawstring, that i have conveniently gathered to one side with a hair tie.  and for a fashionable finish, i have on yesterday's shirt underneath a big, frumpy hoody.  

BUT, i do have a quad grande americano to my right, and a puppy to my left.  they seem to be counteracting my feelings of filthiness.  i am listening to hillsong, and about to take a shower.  so we're going to turn it around.  

also, please know that i did go into starbucks looking like this.  and i'd stopped off at the park to throw the ball to beu for a second, and i sat down in the grass without thinking, so not only am i looking homeless, but i am looking like an incontinent homeless person.  

okay, one more thing.  as i was pulling up at the park, i saw that someone had put a super cute tv stand out by the street.  i made a mental note to grab that on my way to starbucks.  in the 10 minutes we were at the park, that thing got TAKEN.  and this was not a busy street, this is like lower richland at 10am on a monday.  some people, i tell ya, taking the things i wanted to steal.  

*post edit--i kind of forgot to say that i am moving today.  see you in charlotte.  

currently

i have decided that i cannot use the delayed posting feature on blogger.  i end up thinking about it a few minutes before it's supposed to be published, and i cancel it.  not sure why?  i just always convince myself that it was stupid.

i packed up my first couple of boxes tonight.  and i finally plugged in my little ipod shuffle so it can charge, and so i can start making a killer road trip playlist.  though, i'm sure my dad will have his 'nanopod' as well, and we will be competing for air time, but that's okay because we have 42 hours of road to fill.  i am so looking forward to picking him up at the airport, and really looking forward to setting out across the country with my pop.  i know it is something we will always remember.  

a nice shot of wyoming 

after talking with kalle last night about their road trip out here last year, i got the crazy idea that we should buy a tent and camp out along our route about half of the time (and do hotels the other half).  i ran this idea by my dad and he just started laughing.  i'm not sure if he was laughing at the thought of me camping, or if he was laughing at the thought of him camping.  

growing up, we were not a camping type of family.  my parents just aren't into it.  i was telling jared today that dad might bring along a travel iron and ironing board and attempt to starch his shirts while we're camped out along the south dakota highway.  

also i am not pretending that i would be especially adept at the whole camping thing, but i'd like to try.  but after my dad stopped laughing when i suggested it, he said,

"um, let me think on that one for a day or two."  

  

today has been one of the nicest days i have had in a long time.  woke up early to a snuggle puppy, and then headed out to breakfast at portage bay cafe near UW.  kalle and i had been comparing notes for months on their menu, and how amazing their food is, so we finally met up there, and got to talk over coffee, omelets, and pancakes.  really sweet time.

vegan pancakes, topped with good things

came home and saw that sweet jess had planned a get together with some friends before i head out.  felt really loved.  

went outside in the sunshine and warm air, and played fetch with beulah, while texting back and forth with my brother while he was in class.  we talked about all the things we will get to do together in a few weeks, and laughed at the thought of dad and i sleeping in a tent.

forsythe park, savannah georgia

then i went upstairs and watched dvr'ed highlights of the bachelor from last night, as i had only seen the last 30 minutes of the after the final rose special.  the bachelor was maddening, but time on the bed with glory and jess was really nice.  then jess curled my hair using the flat iron.  i didn't know if it would work, but she made it work!  so now if i practice, maybe i can get it down.  

after that a really mellow afternoon, and then our newest girl, who is from mexico, and only speaks spanish, cooked an amazing dinner for us.  really and truly did this body some good.  

pretty much as of today, i am really not doing any new beginnings stuff.  really just focusing on moving, and it feels strange already.  like they're in the other room doing Bible study, and i feel like i'm playing hooky.  

i don't know, several people have asked me questions about how i am feeling about moving, or how prepared i am for certain aspects of it, and for the most part, i am totally unprepared.  and today, i just had to become okay with that.  i am getting there, and hopefully tomorrow another piece will be put in place, and then another one after that.  

i think i prepare as much as i can, and look for a job as earnestly as i can, but still be willing to step out even if it seems impossible.  really not sure at all what life will look like a month from now.  weird, huh?

a typical day

here is what my mornings usually look like 'round these parts.  beulah scoots up beside me, licks my face, and puts her chin directly on my neck until i wake up and take her outside.  so we go do our thing, and sometimes we'll go on a run or a walk,(i've become a little slack on that since i have had a cold).  then come back to a (very) warm upstairs, she gets her food, and i go downstairs and get my raisin bran crunch.  at this point i grab my laptop, climb back under the covers, and enjoy my breakfast while reading all of your blogs.  

i give beu my leftover cereal milk, and that makes her day.  i go down to shower, on my way down i start the coffee, shower, and grab my coffee on the way back up to my room.  get ready, do a little reading, and head down for the day.  

so that's my typical lazy morning, they're about to look a lot different.  

what do your mornings look like?  

ain't goin nowhere

a song

hello all. sitting in my favorite 'day off' spot. i like that the guys here at forza know my order now. 16 ounce americano in a mug with a carrot cake muffin. usually i come here and watch a sermon from mark or steven or anyone else who might challenge me.

our house is filling up again, the leaves are on fire, and fall is here to stay. as is the rain.

but no rain today. i can see pioneer park out the window of forza, and there are bright school buses passing, and strollers rolling down the sidewalk.

today i am thankful for:

• little skinny computers that help me keep in contact with sweet friends and family.
• for brothers who send said skinny computers across the country to their sister.
• coffee mugs that take two hands to hold
• books/journals/pens
• the connollys, i could write entries on each of them, and why i'm thankful for them, but i just love them, and am grateful for them.
• baking things involving whole wheat, pumpkins, bananas, and everything else autumnal.
• the fact that it is 12:34pm right now.
• my parents--their marriage, their unselfish love for each other, and for all three of us.
• for sweet beu, who sleeps with her little head on my feet every night.
• the hope of learning more about who God is, and the hope that maybe today i'll make a couple of right choices to become a little less like me, and little bit closer to who He sees me to be.
• being able to do silly things like buy a new scarf, or a season of 30 rock.
• our three girls.
• our fireplace getting turned on for the first time this fall.
• having cable at our house, and the season finale of project runway.

love you, sorry for not writing more these days.

here's what i was thinking about last year:

october '07

october '06

october '05

another saturday

hiii all.  

i am currently watching free willy.  i haven't seen this movie since i was (hold for imdb search), wait this might be free willy 2.  well if this is the first one i was 9, and if it's the second one i was 11.  jesse has a lady love, so i'm thinking it's the second one because i don't remember that from the first one.  anyway, too much free willy speculation for one blog.  moving on.

new girl moving in this afternoon.  it's an interesting thing, it is really easy for me to be cynical about our 'girl situation' but, hopefully she will want to be here, that is always a step in the right direction.  

i am trying to refuel myself with a rather large cup of coffee.  hopefully it will get the ball rolling in a few minutes and i will want to do something other than blogging and free willy.  

also, in absolute vulnerability, if you guys could be praying for me (and for the connollys as well) as far as support goes.  i have one family that is supporting me right now, and i am at 1/5 of what i need to be in a responsible place financially.  i am going to have to send out another email in this next week, and if you guys could just pray that i will have wisdom as far as how to word the email, and also that the email will be sent to the right people.  and that mental connections will be made between my friends and organizations/businesses that are interested in giving to non-profits.  

thanks ahead of time for the prayers.

a week from today my parents come!  agh.  so fun.  

i would rather

well, i had been working on this other, more serious, and probably slightly confusing entry, but instead, i will inform you of the minutia filling my day thus far.  

roll over, hear dog whimpering to be let out.

thought process:  just give me five more minutes, maybe fifteen.

it's amazing how magnified minutes become at 6am.  

6:30am, wake up to an excited puppy, who promptly pees on my foot and licks my face off.  

outside for potty and play.

i sit in the backyard, in my pajamas and bathrobe, and check my emails.

randy (jess' dad) comes out on the deck for a smoke, we exchange good mornings, beulah seeing randy, pees on herself.

i stay outside until my desire for coffee is inescapable.  come in, make coffee.  at this point, randy realizes his flight is today, not tomorrow.  packing ensues.  

turn back and forth between the today show and the waltons.  say good morning to jess and babes.  beulah pees on herself.  

i shower.

randy heads to airport.  

beulah sleeps.

babies pretend to sleep.

jess and i play relaxation game, and pretend to schedule (or i just pretend, jess really does).

beulah wakes.

i walk around.

laundry.

preparing new girl's room.

lunch.

both babies up.

nick comes in, beulah sees him.  

pees.

a few phone calls, and now i'm back outside.

checking my emails.

saturday morning gladness

some things i am excited about--in chronological order

• doing a little cleaning up around the house this morning
• maybe catching a nap today
• enjoying my cup of coffee while catching an episode of little house on the prairie
  
• beulah's second puppy class tonight. i am not totally sure if you can 'win' a puppy class, but we're going to try our darndest.
  
• connollys coming home in 2 dayyyys.
• the fact that beulah has started chasing/eating/killing horseflies as i type this.
  
• new girls coming (could not be more excited about this)
• the month of august (birthdays, radiohead, etc.)
  
• my parents coming in september
• fall in seattle
• a puyallup family thanksgiving (imagine how awesome our dinner will be)
• looking for plane tickets home to south carolina after being away for 9 months.
• sitting in an overly-christmas-decorated-room with my whole family, including jake.
• but most of all, right now i am looking forward to life returning to the crazytown we all know and love. i am looking forward to needing to escape to one of our upstairs hideaways. this house is tooo empty.

i am all kinds of thankful for life right now.