considering events

"To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell."  Thomas Merton

you know how when a significant event happens in life, everything is heightened.  it adds both clarity and confusion.  witnessing a birth feels so closely linked to the feelings of experiencing the death of someone around you.  you drive around wondering why everyone is so caught up in their trip to the grocery store.  but we still go and do.  all the time feeling like you want to scream and tell everyone that this is LIFE.  a whole person, with a whole lifetime of stories, and plans ahead of them is here.  a baby that was just with God, is now with us. 

that is beauty.  

a baby that a month ago, almost stayed with God forever, is now here.  and he is a brother, a son, and a nephew.  that is joy.  

so now, when life, and bad attitudes, and kitchens in shambles creep back into my consciousness, i pray for that clarity.  i pray that i would not make it about me or my schedule.  because God is here, and he is working, and i want to resist the pull of my own plans.  

thank you for weeks like this, Lord, and may i find your truth within them.