stuffy

how i have been feeling and acting the last few days*

i am laying in my bedroom right now.  it's dark, and i almost threw my back out trying to unstick the paint-stuck window.  while it is usually so cold here at my parent's house that i have to wear a fleece, no matter the season, this visit has been a little toasty.  mainly because it is in the weird weather no man's land, where you really don't need to use the air conditioner yet, but you might as well start warmin' her up.  or coolin' her down, more accurately, i suppose.  

beulah is laying in her doggie bed in the corner, and this room is totally filled with boxes.  let's not confuse the situation though, my room is tiny, three boxes fills the room.  though, for some reason, there are a bunch of empty boxes, too.  and beulah's crate and dog bed.  and my two suitcases.  there is one tiny patch of floor where i can navigate in and out of the room, other than that, it's yuck in here.  

these past few days have been tough.  and not for the reasons you might be thinking.  i am somewhat in the zone with my parents right now.  though, i am ready to have some floor space and a bathroom that i don't share with both of my parents.  i think i am normally a roll-with-the-punches type of gal, but these past 3 weeks have been very gypsy-like.  and now that i have not heard from nanny mom #1, that means i don't have a job=back to square one.  

in this time of dependence, i have not been spending a lot of time with the Lord, and it shows in my words and actions.  yuck.  i hate when i knowingly continue in the wrong direction.  yuck yuck.  

a few really important things are coming together for the move, but more on that later.  

*i threw tantrums as a child, and my mom thought it prudent to capture them on film.  

censored

sheesh.  after being at my parent's house for a few days, i could tell some funny stories.  BUT, they read this, and also have facebook.  so, i am officially on gag order.  especially after thinking i was smooth enough to get away with a frustrated-middle-of-the-night post about my dad's snoring while on our road trip.  well, i did not.  my mom read it to him like a true benedict arnold.  

not a lot to report this evening.  quick trip up to charlotte tomorrow for an interview and running by the house to meet one of my roommates.  

right now, i am unable to watch LOST because jare has my TV in savannah and my parents are all about some american idol results show.  once again, sheesh.  

still feeling a little nervous about the changes coming up in the next week.  if things go as planned, i will move into the house on monday, and start my job (if i get it..eek) on tuesday.  a lot of loose ends to tie up before then though.  

must go.  if you live in charlotte, be my friend.  please.  

i am still here

quick update:

my dad, beulah, and i arrived home to columbia safely on sunday night.  after a quick stop by the park, we headed to my parent's house.  jared was in town to shoot a wedding, so after some convincing, beulah and i hopped back in the car for another three hours, and made our way down to savannah.  

i have been down here for a few days.  it has been both a great week, and a hard week.  

i still have not found a job, and had a little bit of a breakdown last night.  just feeling like i am at everyone's mercy, and like people are doing me all of these favors and i hate it. 

but!  it will get better.  and i think taking a shower in a couple of seconds is really going to make this day seem a lot brighter.  

if you think of it, i could really use your prayers.  i really need a job.  thanks guys, will check in again soon!

bah!

i am laying here in bed, switching channels like it's my job.  currently stopped on the sopranos.  i'm at a bit of a standstill.  there is much to be done, but i can't really start packing up the car, until i go pick up the rental car.  i have vacuumed 3 times already.  maybe i'll dust?  

i don't know where i am going to live.  i can't really stay at my parent's house for any amount of time because their dog would eat beulah whole, one quick gulp.  so that leaves jared's place in savannah, but they're finishing school and planning a wedding, so that doesn't really feel like an option.  let's not even talk about jobs.  i get actively upset when i start talking about this.  

even though i get so riled up and fearful about walking into total dependency, i know that i will be provided for.  

let's talk about Glory.  yesterday was Glory's first birthday.  hard to believe, right?  i had about four different projects going for her, and i have finished none of them.  not so hard to believe.  but let me just say this, no matter when i get married and have kids, sweet Glor will always be the first baby that i watched grow.  i have only missed a handful of the days in her life so far, and i love her and her brother more than just about anything.  so Glory, happy birthday sweet girl.  it has been a joy watching you turn more and more into yourself with every day that passes.  and even though we won't be living in the same house anymore, you can always know that you have a godmother who thinks you are the greatest thing on earth.  

happy birthday, gloriana!