oh you know

just some quality time with my favorite girl

and my favorite boy.  

yay for date night:)

editing

it seems like the christian world is making a big shift in the way we think and relate within relationships and sexuality.  

everywhere i turn, it seems a new sermon series, or book is based on shaking things up and not thinking as much about 'what not to do' in dating relationships/marriage/single life, but more about what we are called to do.  isn't that the way you were raised?  in youth group?  don't have sex before you get married (along with don't drink or smoke or see rated R movies).  no one is telling/teaching us how to be selfLESS in any stage of life.  but purity is often reduced to a formula for what is 'permissible'.  

along the same lines, i read something a friend of mine wrote on her blog today, and what a challenge it was.  in this age of ridiculously following each other's lives through blogs, facebook, and twitter, it is really easy to make an image for ourselves.  to edit out the ugly and brutal.  this is something that is so easy to do.  i do it all the time.  whether subconsciously, or through much effort, we spin and plot to make ourselves pleasing to the general public.  and for me, i see that as such a seed for so many plants of discontent in my life.  whether it manifests itself physically or mentally is not important.  i think as single women (especially christian women) we can be schemers.  we pursue just shy of what could be called pursuit, we play the pseudo-puppet masters, thinking we're controlling the situation/man.  

my job in life is not to find a husband.  not to edit myself in order to find a husband.  but my job is to be selfless in my pursuit of Jesus.  i pray that one day i can actually live that out to its fullest extent.  and i pray that christian men would be willing to give us the gift of being found by them.  

some challenges:

perry noble

mark driscoll

steven furtick  [look under the visionary love dream sex series]

nothing sweeter

i am continuing to follow nienie's journey through her sister's blog.  this weekend, three of their four children got to see their parents for the first time in over 2 months.  

this video was just posted.  this is nienie's two daughters singing at a benefit for their parents.  it was just hours after they saw both of their parents for the first time.  i think it is just about the sweetest thing i've ever seen.  

click here to see it.

the girls said they wanted to sing a lullaby for their mom (she sang them golden slumbers every night).  

praying for continued healing of stephanie and christian.

overcompensating and stuff

i wouldn't necessarily say that i have had a blog block, but it has been something closely related.

it did not help that i got a slap on the hand from the blogger (as in dot com). apparently, i was reported for posting music. blerg. and now, 'big blogger', if you will, is watching.

my brain is swirly and weird lately. the closer i get to the year mark of being out west, the closer i get to needing to make decisions. is this an entire life change? would moving back east be failure in some way? would it be reverting to old ways? i beg of you, please pray for me. i feel like even more than some of the big life changes in the last few years, the decisions coming up are especially meaningful, and i'm not sure why exactly.

so, as i polish up my resume, and log back in to monster.com, i really covet your prayers.

walking the perimeter of puyallup is always eventful. today, the strangest episode had to be as i was walking past the high school, a large boy hopped off the bus and crossed the street, just as beulah and i were about the cross the street. as soon as he saw us, he froze. panic filled his eyes, and he lurched in the opposite direction and ran screaming straight into an older gentleman.

some other events of the past week include:

• surprising a group of raccoons on my back deck. i said there were six, but that was probably an exaggeration. i definitely saw two, and heard lots of other rustling in the dark, so i slowly backed back into my room, and slid the door shut. hoping they would disappear. and they did, but i did see one climbing up a tree last night, right before..
• i fell into a large hole that had been jimmy-rigged with a planter sitting on top of it. my foot broke right through the plastic planter, and my left leg went all the way through. i was shocked for a second, then went about freeing my leg. as i tried to wriggle free, i kept losing my shoe, but trying to get my foot back through the planter and up from the hole, is much harder than you might imagine. in the pitch black dark, with your dog watching you. confused. sporting a nice bruise today.
  
• i think that's all i've got.

booooooo

just lost everything.  blog under construction.

ode to aladdin

five wishes--whattttuppppp

1. new home for my parents. they get to pick every detail.

2. get all the benefits of exercise without the actual effort. all those endorphins/results at the push of a button. ahhh.

3. limitless wardrobe/accessories. well, to narrow 'er down a bit, let's just say, all of anthropologie at my fingertips.

4. free travel.

5. to be in the very initial stage of loving someone. and know that it will last, well, forever.

now--i think today calls for a 30 second dance party.

green light--mstrkrft remix
get 'em high--kanye west and common

pick your song.
and go.

big chair, rainy morning

going in for some granola bar and some love

it's wet here, and my feet are damp from sinking into deep grass. i have been perched in our leather chair for over an hour. elias came and went, we snuggled and he hit the spacebar on my computer and a movie popped on, so we watched it for a while.

i can hear jess and e upstairs, and nick just got back from a run. girls come and go. and i can see leaves falling outside. glory sleeps through it.

i tried to write for about half an hour, and nothing came. another week beginning, another gray morning needing coffee, it's october 20th, and i am 24 years old, and i am readying myself for another day.

new beginnings ramblings

my favorite quotes/moments of our week--

"I think that it is our job as christians to support the abortion ministry."--host at the Adoption Ministry benefit (one of the several times he confused those words).

fenny and i going to church on sunday, and because of her kenyan accent and because her name is unusual, no one understood what she was saying when introduced. "nice to meet you, funny" happened a few times. after that, we decided to switch names, and from that point on, i introduced myself as fenny. and fenny was lauren.

this week i've really been trying to bring beu downstairs more often and make her more apart of the house. i'd taken her to vet, and he'd told me that i need to be more "dominating". so i came home guns blazing, and explained to everyone my plan for domination. after dinner, fenny was holding glor, and glory was playing with fenny's face and started slapping her. then fenny deadpans, "i think she is trying to dominate me".



this clip IS one of our girls. not even one degree of exaggeration. come over, you'll see.

during fenny's ultrasound, the technician said, "in case you were interested, the right ovary contributed to the pregnancy." fenny's response, "shame on that ovary".

on friday during jess' ultrasound, she sent me a text saying she was pregnant with quadruplets. elias i were playing at the time, and i called jess in a frenzy and told her to "shut the hell up". oops.

anna wants to name her firstborn "shequillia". say it outloud, yep, "shellkillya"

that brings us to today, there have been so many ridiculous comments from our first three girls (who are visiting today) that i don't even know where to start. most are pregnancy related, and most are gross. i'll steer clear of those, unless you little sickies want to hear them (you probably do).

day of days

agh.  i do not get a chance to write on here (and on other certain writing blogs) like i would like to.  

i have a stockpile of thoughts to blurt out to you, but can't seem to make the leap from thought to word.  our house is fuuuulll, and i am hiding in nick and jess' upstairs while i am 'monitorsitting'.  4 pregnant girls rummaging through a kitchen is oddly disconcerting, and sends me running for the hills.  

our two newest girls are really interesting, and seem to not hate us.  but let's give it time.

moving on to more pleasant things.  like the confirmation of baby #3 for the connollys--i am hoping it's okay to talk about, i am actually going to wait to get the okay from jess to publish this.  i can't believe it.  it's so great.  it reminds me that finding out you're pregnant doesn't always have to be a crisis.  

also--i just bought my plane ticket home for christmas.  that is exciting too.  december 13-31 i'll be in the southeast.  

upcoming posts--

• 3-5 wishes (inspired by a viewing of aladdin)
  
• insecurity seen for what it is
  
• being uncomfortably comfortable
• and once i get a realistic perspective on my own bundle of faults, how do you live alongside other's bundles?

iced over

i woke up this morning to frost.  a nice surprise.  so after a quick walk, and a trip down to the neighbors to feed their dog (while they're out of town), i am back, making coffee and my face is flushed and stinging a little.  it's cold, and i love it.

around this time last year i decided what my christmas gift would be to my family.  during my many hours of web surfing at work, i found a cabin in the north carolina mountains, in a place i'd never heard of called andrews.  so, my plan was to wait until thanksgiving and tell them my surprise.  i did not last that long.  

long story short, we had the best time.  josh couldn't make it back east last year, and that sucked.  but this year, i think he is going to be able to make the trip!  so, we're headed back to the same cabin, loading up jake, and some christmas decorations and going to our awesome little secluded home.  

here's a side view of the house.  the bottom left window is my room:)  

this is the loft where the boys will sleep.

this is the view from our front porch.  

ennnjoy

the crab thing kills me.

nothing better than kenneth..and conan

cause my brother

is still awesome, here's a little video he threw together for work:

videoforelevationsermonseries

quickie

headed out to the grocery store.  

i went to the doctor with one of the girls yesterday.  it was awesome.  i forgot!  i just forgot how exciting this process can be, if we are 'let in'.  

in other news, jess may have convinced me that i am getting sympathy sickness from all these pregnant pukers.  i had 2 slices of toast for lunch.  it's all mental, i know it.  but still..it's painful to watch them try to eat.  like they're being tortured.  that is..unless they're pounding a chalupa.  

also, if you feel like praying for a puppy, you could pray for beulah, actually more for me, because she got fixed on tuesday, and trying to keep that crazy contained, is almost impossible. poor thing, she can't run around and play at all.  so maybe Jesus, you can magically take away some of the energy.  forever, Lord?  maybe just take some of the energy for eternity.  that'd be great.  for real. 

must go, fred meyer is wondering where we've been.

ain't goin nowhere

a song

hello all. sitting in my favorite 'day off' spot. i like that the guys here at forza know my order now. 16 ounce americano in a mug with a carrot cake muffin. usually i come here and watch a sermon from mark or steven or anyone else who might challenge me.

our house is filling up again, the leaves are on fire, and fall is here to stay. as is the rain.

but no rain today. i can see pioneer park out the window of forza, and there are bright school buses passing, and strollers rolling down the sidewalk.

today i am thankful for:

• little skinny computers that help me keep in contact with sweet friends and family.
• for brothers who send said skinny computers across the country to their sister.
• coffee mugs that take two hands to hold
• books/journals/pens
• the connollys, i could write entries on each of them, and why i'm thankful for them, but i just love them, and am grateful for them.
• baking things involving whole wheat, pumpkins, bananas, and everything else autumnal.
• the fact that it is 12:34pm right now.
• my parents--their marriage, their unselfish love for each other, and for all three of us.
• for sweet beu, who sleeps with her little head on my feet every night.
• the hope of learning more about who God is, and the hope that maybe today i'll make a couple of right choices to become a little less like me, and little bit closer to who He sees me to be.
• being able to do silly things like buy a new scarf, or a season of 30 rock.
• our three girls.
• our fireplace getting turned on for the first time this fall.
• having cable at our house, and the season finale of project runway.

love you, sorry for not writing more these days.

here's what i was thinking about last year:

october '07

october '06

october '05