deck the halls

monday again. jared is at the airport right now about to leave for africa, and maria is in florida visiting her fam while jared's away. i don't love the feeling of them not being here. they are an underlying layer of comfort in my life. here's what i keep telling myself about the trip to africa for jared, if he survived a road trip to new mexico with sam and josh and our josh, he will be juuuust fine on a trip with elevation. but i covet your prayers for them as they go.

the apartment is slowly coming along. i've been working a LOT, and will continue to, and the time i have to nest is in very small increments. i did manage to get my chalkboard wall done quickly on friday night/saturday morning. it's super fun.

let's talk about this for a second. last week i messaged jess during the day, but got nick instead. caught up with him quickly, and somehow the subject of victorian christmas came up. let's rewind to this time last year, shall we?

me, nick, jessi, and babes were all still living at new beginnings home in puyallup. every year the founders of the ministry had a booth at the local victorian christmas festival, where they had a raffle for a handmade quilt. all of the staff (ehh, like 5 of us?) were supposed to split of the time at the booth and work shifts. oh i'm sorry, did i forget to mention that we were required to wear full 'victorian dress'? and by 'victorian dress', i do of course mean, weirdo lacy dresses with bustles, and nick wore a coat with tails and a top hat. lest we forget, jess was about 20 weeks pregnant at this point. we looked a little more like the cast of dr. quinn medicine woman (on a bad day) than we did anything having to do with the victorian era.

i worked two shifts, but the most hilarious one was undoubtedly the shift i worked with nick, where we just sort of scowled at each other the entire night. i'm laughing right now thinking about it. the thought of the two of us being in charge of selling a mennonite quilt is just about the best thing i've ever heard of.

seriously, you should really explore those links above. and here's a taste of some victorian christmas show goodness:

[to be totally fair, we raised money that allowed each of us to be able to have some christmas money last year, so it was worth it, but this is not something any of us talks about very often, as it was not our finest hour].

alright, so that's my gift to you today, a secret that none of us really wanted to get out. and now it is yours for the ridiculing.

here we go

here are my favorite photos of my brother, jared's wedding.  i could write a paragraph about each one, but i will let them speak for themselves.

thanks jared and maria for letting me share these.  all photos by josh goleman.  go look at his website.

(photos by josh goleman, cinematographer and photographer)

"clarification"

my main audience for my last post was my brothers.  

those jokers have been judging my tastes well, since forever.  i guess there was a short 3 years before jared could give me the 'george costanza look of disapproval' face, but by like 3 weeks in, he had it perfected.  

and josh, well josh was born with his 'smirk of judgment'.  (sorry, no visual aid).  anyway, case in point:  i talked quickly with jared last night, here's how that went down:

jared:  hey you should write another blog, or at least clarify the one you wrote.

lauren:  which blog?  what?

lauren:  oh, right.  i knew you would love that. [referencing my love for taylor swift].

jared:  seriously, it knocked you down a couple of notches in my book, you should really clarify that you don't really like country music.  

jared:  and also you're not funny.  

okay, he didn't say that last part, but in the grand scheme of things, that's what you get from brothers:  "you're not cool, so stop trying".  

to that i say, freedom (ya jerks).  sometimes now, i say i like stupid things just to get under their skin.  because most of the things i say that i like, they end up coming around to liking/loving.  

examples:

dawson's creek (don't play, jared, you bought me a season a few years ago, and you and josh sat on my bed in your pjs and watched the whole thing with me.. maria, sorry that you had to find out this way)

twilight (you made up songs about spider monkeys and sparkly vampires)

the list could go on, but i'm tired of bragging, so we'll bring this post to an end.  

june 6

i am sitting in the basement at work, about to put the babies down for their morning nap.  thinking through this weekend, and how things are so different but very much the same.  my brother has a ring on his finger, and there is another hogan girl.  

as i looked forward to this past weekend, everyone told me to wear water proof mascara, have several handkerchiefs ready, and to prepare for the ugly cry.  but when the time came, all i could do was smile.  coming down the aisle, standing beside my sister, and celebrating as i walked back down that aisle, i could be nothing but joyful.  

because, you see, i spent the day with maria, and i saw the confidence in her eyes, and i saw the peace of the Lord so evident in her heart.   right before the ceremony, i snuck over to the boys' room.  as i walked in, i saw each of them sitting quietly in a dark room, and josh was playing the piano, and my dad stood quietly beside jared, along with larry who officiated the ceremony.  

there were no more loud voices filling the space.  replacing it was a quiet joy that filled my brother's eyes.  and i have never been more proud.  all i could do was place my hands on his chest, look in his eyes, and he knew.  he knew what i was thinking, and we both knew that my role as his sister would be forever different.  and so i cried.  not for what would change, but for how much i have treasured these years taking care of this boy, watching him become the man that sat there ready to be maria's husband.  

i made my way back to the bride's room, reeling from that moment.

and before i knew it, we were waiting in the stairwell, and i saw mr. thomas watch his daughter, and i wondered what he was thinking as he waited his turn, and wondered if he was willing time to slow down.  i hope that moment lasted a long time in his mind, that sweet waiting.  

i made my way down the aisle, eagerly.  a mischievous smile took over my entire face, and locked eyes with many people that loved us, and then i saw jared, and gave him a quick low five as i took my place.  

before i even knew it, the doors opened and i saw maria as she started to walk, and i also caught a glimpse of jared cover his mouth as the impact of the scene hit him hard.  as they stood at the front of the sanctuary, we watched as jared peered around maria's father trying to get a glimpse.  

and i tucked them away forever, these moments where life changes and grows.  

we listened as they made promises, and called each other husband and wife, and we cheered as they left the church much different than they had entered.  

so quick

where do you even start?  seriously.

okay, so i haven't even really told you guys that i got a second job.  my jobs are absolutely the coolest, but have weirdo hours.  i work the third shift at a dog kennel, and then i work 7am-6pm nannying.  now, i only work at the dog kennel two nights per week, but throw in a drive to savannah this week and next week, and it makes for one crazy lauren hogan.  

this last night i worked coincided with the birth of benjamin haddon connolly.  so in between feeding dogs, and mopping up pee, i would run back and check my phone oh, every 2 and a half minutes.  

it would have felt crazy not being there for the birth no matter where i was, but this really felt odd.  

so i drove back from work a little before 7am on thursday morning, slept for an hour or two, then headed down to savannah with em, to see jared's movie premiere.  i've said it before and i'll say it a thousand times more, he's the most talented person i know.  

about 30 minutes into the program (and with hands shaking and me about to vomit a little), jared's film racked up four awards, including best director and best picture. who is he, you ask?  oh i don't know, just the coolest.  

as a super added bonus to this day trip, my older brother josh flew in on thursday for the festivities (both this week, and the wedding next week).  it was a delight to see him.  love him.  

so after the movie, we headed over to lulu's chocolate bar, drank a little espresso and ate some chocolate covered strawberries for the road, and then back we came to charlotte.  i am back at work this morning, and just squeezed in a nice little nap while the babies were down.  

now it's lunch time, and these buggers have to EAT!  but i'll give you one guess what i'll be doing all day tomorrow?  

do it.

please vote for my brother's video HEREEEEEEEE.

[in the second row, second from left]

oh you know

no big.  it's just that my sickly talented younger brother just had a music video posted on pitchfork media.  this video just so happens to feature my insanely awesome older brother.  it's all in the family, i tell ya.  except that my line of work these days is more in the diaper genre, but that's okay.  

here it is:

Balmorhea: Remembrance [Western Vinyl]

10 points to whoever can place the band that this video is for:)

currently

i have decided that i cannot use the delayed posting feature on blogger.  i end up thinking about it a few minutes before it's supposed to be published, and i cancel it.  not sure why?  i just always convince myself that it was stupid.

i packed up my first couple of boxes tonight.  and i finally plugged in my little ipod shuffle so it can charge, and so i can start making a killer road trip playlist.  though, i'm sure my dad will have his 'nanopod' as well, and we will be competing for air time, but that's okay because we have 42 hours of road to fill.  i am so looking forward to picking him up at the airport, and really looking forward to setting out across the country with my pop.  i know it is something we will always remember.  

a nice shot of wyoming 

after talking with kalle last night about their road trip out here last year, i got the crazy idea that we should buy a tent and camp out along our route about half of the time (and do hotels the other half).  i ran this idea by my dad and he just started laughing.  i'm not sure if he was laughing at the thought of me camping, or if he was laughing at the thought of him camping.  

growing up, we were not a camping type of family.  my parents just aren't into it.  i was telling jared today that dad might bring along a travel iron and ironing board and attempt to starch his shirts while we're camped out along the south dakota highway.  

also i am not pretending that i would be especially adept at the whole camping thing, but i'd like to try.  but after my dad stopped laughing when i suggested it, he said,

"um, let me think on that one for a day or two."  

  

today has been one of the nicest days i have had in a long time.  woke up early to a snuggle puppy, and then headed out to breakfast at portage bay cafe near UW.  kalle and i had been comparing notes for months on their menu, and how amazing their food is, so we finally met up there, and got to talk over coffee, omelets, and pancakes.  really sweet time.

vegan pancakes, topped with good things

came home and saw that sweet jess had planned a get together with some friends before i head out.  felt really loved.  

went outside in the sunshine and warm air, and played fetch with beulah, while texting back and forth with my brother while he was in class.  we talked about all the things we will get to do together in a few weeks, and laughed at the thought of dad and i sleeping in a tent.

forsythe park, savannah georgia

then i went upstairs and watched dvr'ed highlights of the bachelor from last night, as i had only seen the last 30 minutes of the after the final rose special.  the bachelor was maddening, but time on the bed with glory and jess was really nice.  then jess curled my hair using the flat iron.  i didn't know if it would work, but she made it work!  so now if i practice, maybe i can get it down.  

after that a really mellow afternoon, and then our newest girl, who is from mexico, and only speaks spanish, cooked an amazing dinner for us.  really and truly did this body some good.  

pretty much as of today, i am really not doing any new beginnings stuff.  really just focusing on moving, and it feels strange already.  like they're in the other room doing Bible study, and i feel like i'm playing hooky.  

i don't know, several people have asked me questions about how i am feeling about moving, or how prepared i am for certain aspects of it, and for the most part, i am totally unprepared.  and today, i just had to become okay with that.  i am getting there, and hopefully tomorrow another piece will be put in place, and then another one after that.  

i think i prepare as much as i can, and look for a job as earnestly as i can, but still be willing to step out even if it seems impossible.  really not sure at all what life will look like a month from now.  weird, huh?

sitting and listening

a couple of weeks ago, nick and jess had just returned from the east coast.  jared called to remind me that some friends of his, the guys from balmorhea, were playing in seattle that night.  my first reaction was, ehh, seattle is far away, and i don't have money to spend on a ticket, etc.  jared promptly lied to me and told me that he had purchased me a ticket.  so, i let nick and jess know i was going out that night, and started to get really excited about getting out of puyallup, and after two weeks alone with the girls, a night out was very enticing.   

i got dressed and put on real people clothes (not workout chic clothing), put on makeup like i would if i were in the real world, and felt great about stopping to get some coffee on the way, and having some time to do something that i wanted to do.  like really, really great about it.  talked to some friends on the way up, and was enjoying the drive.   

as i hung up the phone, the honda i have been driving since i moved out here, started gyrating in ways that i was not accustomed to.  i promptly moved over to the right lane, just in case she decided to go on strike completely.  which she did.  i was totally unable to accelerate and coasted to the shoulder and went as far as i could (the whole time thinking, maybe if i just stay on the shoulder, just maybe i can make it the last few miles, please God).  i came to a stop, turned off the engine, and sat.  well, damn.  

i gave it a few minutes, and then tried to restart it.  as i turned the key, it sounded as if a chainsaw started underneath the hood, and seconds later, an explosion.  smoke everywhere.  double damn.  

at this point, i was crazy disappointed.  i was dressed, i was ready, and things weren't turning out how i'd hoped they would.  

several days later, jared told me that he actually hadn't gotten me a ticket, but instead had contacted balmorhea, let them know i was coming, and they had put me on their 'list'.  i found this hilarious, and felt a little silly, like a needy 'band girl'.  you all know the girl i am talking about.  

as a result of being on their 'list' they saw that i didn't show up i guess, or maybe jared just told them the breaking down story, a little hazy on this part, well whatever, they felt bad about me being on the side of the road instead of at the show, so they sent me a sweet little package, with a letter and one of their CDs.  

anyway, their name is balmorhea, they're from austin, texas, and jared has done a few things with them, like music videos, etc.  but they're awesome, really sweet, and send you things when your car breaks down:)

here's where to buy their stuff:

iTunes

[also, nick came to get me off the side of the road, so thanks to him as well!]

2 weeks from today

i will be in the air, on my way to the east coast.  

on my way to see a newly engaged brother, and also on my way to see a brother that i haven't laid eyes on in..almost a year and a half.  

it is seeming more strange every day to think that i will be gone from new beginnings for almost three weeks.  away from my connolly fam and sweet beu.  elias and glory will be pre-pubescent by the time i return, and connolly fetus #3 will be practically full term.  yes, that's right, a lot can happen in three weeks.

my heart hurts a little when i think about leaving beulah for three whole weeks.  but i think i may have found a great place for her to stay (just in the last hour).  so, that is taking a big load off of my mind.  though, i will be handing over my firstborn child as penance.   i love that sweet thing.

in other news, jimmy and faythe have returned from whence they came, and are now back in their real home.  i love having them in town.  and later today, jimmy and i will face off in the new beginnings top chef competition.  pictures to come (hopefully).  

if you guys would continue praying for me as i try to make plans for the coming year, that would be really appreciated.  there are a lot of things buzzing around my head, and i want to make decisions that will cause growth and not a return to old ways.  

but, for now, i am looking forward to celebrating christmastime for the next couple of weeks, and then going home, and getting lots of hugs from people i haven't seen in a year, seeing and hearing how they've changed, and really realizing how different i am than i was a year ago.  

check back for top chef updates later today.

cause my brother

is still awesome, here's a little video he threw together for work:

videoforelevationsermonseries

buyer's remorse?

alright.  

i've been avoiding coming over to the dark side for quite a while now.  everyone eventually heads on over to blogspot.  i know it.  you know it.  we all know it. 

i was holding out as long as i could, and i'm still not sold on this whole deal.  i feel like i am cheating on xanga, as it has been the home of my "sullen ramblings" for almost 3 years.  3 incredibly eventful years.  

i also sucked jared into writing on xanga, and have now officially abandoned him.  for greener pastures.  

all of this said, i stuck a link to my old stuff on the sidebar, and am going to try to create a new home here.  

so for now, welcome.  here is a meaningless video.