i am feeling pretty contemplative right now. this weekend has been so fun, and such a wonderful gift to see these women. i hope what i am about to say does not come from a prideful place, but as much fun as this has been, i am ready to go home.
i don't have an eating disorder anymore.
yes, i struggled for years with insecurity, bingeing and purging behaviors, and all of the things that come along with that (depression, dishonesty, and a host of physical side effects), but i am stinking free.
after spending a weekend talking at length about it--i am disgusted. not at anyone, or because of anyone, i just haven't let it be the main topic of conversation for a while now, so when it does become the topic, i see it for what it is.
are there days i'm insecure? yes.
and yeah, there are days where i doubt and question.
but i have hope.
i am deeply happy.
but as far as worrying about the minute issues, or a freaking pound lost or gained, i will not do it. i won't participate anymore.
as much as i love these women, my heart is happy to be getting on a plane, and heading back to life in Charlotte.
"Shake off your dust; rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. Free yourself from the chains on your neck, O captive Daughter of Zion."