so quick

where do you even start?  seriously.

okay, so i haven't even really told you guys that i got a second job.  my jobs are absolutely the coolest, but have weirdo hours.  i work the third shift at a dog kennel, and then i work 7am-6pm nannying.  now, i only work at the dog kennel two nights per week, but throw in a drive to savannah this week and next week, and it makes for one crazy lauren hogan.  

this last night i worked coincided with the birth of benjamin haddon connolly.  so in between feeding dogs, and mopping up pee, i would run back and check my phone oh, every 2 and a half minutes.  

it would have felt crazy not being there for the birth no matter where i was, but this really felt odd.  

so i drove back from work a little before 7am on thursday morning, slept for an hour or two, then headed down to savannah with em, to see jared's movie premiere.  i've said it before and i'll say it a thousand times more, he's the most talented person i know.  

about 30 minutes into the program (and with hands shaking and me about to vomit a little), jared's film racked up four awards, including best director and best picture. who is he, you ask?  oh i don't know, just the coolest.  

as a super added bonus to this day trip, my older brother josh flew in on thursday for the festivities (both this week, and the wedding next week).  it was a delight to see him.  love him.  

so after the movie, we headed over to lulu's chocolate bar, drank a little espresso and ate some chocolate covered strawberries for the road, and then back we came to charlotte.  i am back at work this morning, and just squeezed in a nice little nap while the babies were down.  

now it's lunch time, and these buggers have to EAT!  but i'll give you one guess what i'll be doing all day tomorrow?  

Dear _____________,

so, you're finally coming today.  

i remember laying in bed talking to your momma from across the house months and months ago.  it had been a long day, and your dad was driving back from class 'down south'.  the whole day your mom had been meaning to tell me about a dream, but she didn't get around to it until right before bed that night.  we talked about it, and after months of speculation and confusion, i suggested that maybe the dream made sense, and that maybe she had been/was pregnant.  

and what do you know?  she was!  with you, big boy.  

those next few weeks were scary and exciting as we waited to hear if everything was okay, and we also waited to see if you had 16 brothers and sisters in there with you.  your mom was sick enough to have about 17 babies, so it made sense to us at the time.  

the morning that your dad and mom went in to meet your for the first time, i hung out with your big brother and sister.  elias and i were sitting upstairs playing while glory slept, when your mom texted me to say she was pregnant with quadruplets, and that's when your auntie lauren cursed at your mom.  but i won't repeat that now.  

of course she was just playing with my mind, and we found out that a healthy boy was due on june 8.  it seemed impossibly far away, but elias and i had a talk that day about little brothers and how much fun he would have with you.  and then elias wanted to talk about cars, so we did.  you will probably like cars too, but you'll like elias so much more.  

he is going to be such a strong big brother for you.  he'll teach you how to love your daddy and mommy, and how to take care of your sister.  speaking of which, we haven't even talk about glory yet.  boy, are you in for a treat, and for a challenge.  this girl is going to be your best friend, but she will also give you a run for your money.  a couple of days ago, she already did.  with a swift kick to your shin while you were still hanging out in your mommy.  i don't think you liked that so much.  but that's okay, it toughened you up for the big dance.

now, _________, i won't really be around much once you get here.  but i already know you and love you.  i pray that you already know how fortunate you are, and how much love you are born into today.  how your nonny flew all the way out to seattle just to get a glimpse of you, and how hard your mom has worked to get you here safely.  how awesome your dad is, and what a leader he is and will continue to be for both your family and the body of Christ.  

when you get older, i can tell you all kinds of stories about when you were in your mom's belly, like how you were always asking your mom for more peanut butter cup ice cream, and how your mom puked in front of a bunch of volunteers because you weren't feeling so good one day.

_________, these words and stories aren't eloquent or well written, because i'm nervous and excited and can't really think straight because you are being born today.  i am trying not to be selfish and think about the fact that i am not there to meet you. 

you are going to have so many fun friends in washington, silas and salem, and sweet baby pearce.  they are just going to love you!

what do you look like, anyway?  can you give me a hint, please?  

mr. _________, here's the thing, you have an amazing family both near and far.  great real aunts and uncles.  i'm just a fake one, but when you get a little older, let's go on some adventures, okay?  lots of walks outside, and when you and e&g come down here to visit, we can camp out, and wrestle in the grass with beulah (you can ask elias about pup pup), and we'll get dirty and sleep outside in the dirt, so your parents won't have to:)  

okay, i have lots more to tell you, but i shouldn't overwhelm you on your first day.  there's more time for orientation.  lots and lots more time.  

i pray that no matter the ebbs and flows of life, and growing up in ministry that this would be the prayer of your heart:

Psalm 73:23-28

²³ "Yet I am always with you; 

       you hold me by your right hand.

 ²⁴ You guide me with your counsel, 

       and afterward you will take me into glory.

 ²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you? 

       And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

 ²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail, 

       but God is the strength of my heart 

       and my portion forever.

 ²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish; 

       you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

 ²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God. 

       I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; 

       I will tell of all your deeds."

love you, Sweet boy.  

lar lar

a requirement

it's been a while.  

the last few weeks have been nutty.  because of my blogging-rustiness, i am forcing myself to write something.  

so here is something, i will download some of the thoughts and events swirling around in my brain very soon, if only for my sake.  there's not much room left in here.

for now, here's a picture of my little nuclear family:)

k, bye.

Wednesday

I got this new application on my phone that supposedly publishes blogs more easily from your phone. Now, I only get the free applications, so this one sort of sucks. Like the other night it published one I was on the middle of typing. Sheesh.

We just had breakfast, I've started putting all the babies' food on their trays and letting them go for it with their fork or spoon. They're at that really fun place where they do or say something totally new every day. It's sweet.

Anyway, not much in the way of a life update, besides setting off my car alarm for the second morning in a row, and having a dog run at Beu and I this morning as we walked to the car, which then caused poor Beu to pee on my foot. Which all happened WHILE my alarm was going off. Comical.

I'm going to my first community group tonight. Nervous/excited about that. I equally love and hate walking into a situation where you know no one. It feels like I do it a lot, I'm ready to walk on a room and have people know me.

Almost nap time for the babes, and I will be sleeping too, hopefully.

Also, praying for my goddaughter (love saying that) today. Sweet Gloriana is having surgery today to remove the cyst near her eye. Prayers for all the Connollys appreciated. I miss those nuts. And want to watch Happy Feet with E, and have him help me bake something, and wrestle on the floor with Glor (presurgery) and spoil her with whatever her favorite food is (post surgery).

Okay, I'm out.

not so great expectations

this past weekend, i watched a movie called 'last chance harvey'.  i had wanted to see it for a while, 

and towards the end of the movie, emma thompson says,

"I think it's actually easier for me to be disappointed. 

I think I'm actually angry at you for trying to take that away."

as soon as she said it, i realized how true that is for me, as well. probably in multiple areas 

of my life, but definitely in the area of relationships. i set myself up for disappointment, i 

expect it, and when i am disappointed, i feel entitled to feel sorry for myself, and tell myself 

that this is just my lot in life. but, if God forbid, someone does meet my needs, i want to hide, 

because i know the longer it lasts, the harder it will be when they do disappoint me.

yesterday in church we talked about risks versus security, and how we long for increased 

security and reduced risk. but how God encourages us to reduce our security and increase the 

risk in our lives, which will cause increased faith in Him.

as easy as it is for me to feel 'let down' by the state of my singleness at 25 (being real here, 

people), i'm just not sure what good my disappointment is going to do me anymore?

i have been challenged to expect more, risk more, and as a result, love more. and when 

someone does come along to steal my disappointment, hopefully i'll be ready to let

it go.

9,125 days (a photo essay)

this is what a 25 year old looks like brushing her teeth

today has been a terrific day already, thanks to friends and family.  woke up to several texts and sweet emails from YOU.  

yummmm

had a normal morning, dropped Beulah off at 'school' (that's right..), went to east boulevard starbucks, and got myself a bagel and some coffee.  

morning commute

got a hilarious message from my brother and sister-in-law (that's right, i call you that now, and have for several weeks).  

jessi wrote an amazing blog wishing me happy birthday, and gave me the BEST gift possible.  a shot of baby 3.  i cried.  

thank you, jess.

i've had a normal day with the babies.

my bosses.

i decided to pack them up and head to south park mall to treat myself to a nice little drink or maybe a new shirt or something.  (too bad i got in and couldn't find my debit card..had some cash, crisis sort of averted).  i drove up at the house, and found this:

2 strawberry and 2 red velvet:)

my parents sent me the sweetest little package of cupcakes!  

such a treat!

the babies are down for their nap (sort of..i hear you mr. b, don't play).  regular afternoon, and then take-out ethiopian food/blockbuster night with ally.  sweet day.  

thank you friends!

milwaukee trip

do it.

please vote for my brother's video HEREEEEEEEE.

[in the second row, second from left]

under pressure

i blog best when i am in a time crunch, it seems.  like right now for instance, i am quickly approaching the end of the twins' lunch time, and the definite end of their patience with being in their high chairs, which means i have to type and type fast.  

life has been decent this week, sort of an in-between week, hold on, fig newton to tide them over.  it worked..for now.  

yeah, i wish i had more to tell you.  i somehow survived getting no sleep on sunday night (well, 2 hours), and drove straight to work on monday morning.  that whole day i was still running on pure adrenaline, red bull, and explosive anger.  but tuesday the fatigue hit me like a punch to the face (i almost said 'boob', but that's not what a lady would say, so i won't).  

hold on, giving them a wagon wheel snack.  

so this week has flown by, but i will have to post a detailed version of both my trip, and my experience getting home from said trip.  funny how victorious i sounded after my last post, just to be humbled and totally tested like an hour later.  hmm, interesting how that happens.  

okay, the babies are no longer fooled, they know i'm blogging and frankly, they don't like it.  blame them.  

good weekend to you all!