here's what i'm thinking about

i have really been chewing on what it means for the Lord to be my "portion".  in a practical every day sort of way, what do you think this looks like?

i have been trying to string together a few sentences, but am really way more interested in trying to figure out what it actually means instead of hearing myself talk/type.  so--what do you think?

here are a couple of versions of Psalm 119:57

"The LORD is my portion;
   I promise to keep your words."

"Because you have satisfied me, God, I promise 
      to do everything you say." 

"You, LORD, are my choice, and I will obey you."

cigars

i have spent the better part of the last few days deodorizing our carpets and febreezing our furniture.  all to make sure that our house didn't have the stench of puppy.  beulah has done great with potty training (for the most part), but still, having a dog in the house can bring with it a certain..mustiness.  

well, it was all for not.  a very kindly gentlemen, named bob is here right now to install our new hot water heater.  and i think he has gone through about 3 cigars in the two hours that he has been here, and it officially smells like the emerald downs in our house.  

on a different note, bob is sporting a mustache, with tendrils coming down on either side of his mouth.  perfectly curled tendrils.  not sure.  would bob the cigar smoking plumber take the time to curl his tendrils in the morning?  

until hurricane bob passes, i am hiding out in the TV room watching seventh heaven, as it is the only thing on at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.  of course it is the 'teenage pregnancy' episode.  "reverend camden, i am so glad to be off the streets".  yeah, that just happened.  

song for sunday

Brandi Carlile- The Story

saturday morning gladness

some things i am excited about--in chronological order

• doing a little cleaning up around the house this morning
• maybe catching a nap today
• enjoying my cup of coffee while catching an episode of little house on the prairie
  
• beulah's second puppy class tonight. i am not totally sure if you can 'win' a puppy class, but we're going to try our darndest.
  
• connollys coming home in 2 dayyyys.
• the fact that beulah has started chasing/eating/killing horseflies as i type this.
  
• new girls coming (could not be more excited about this)
• the month of august (birthdays, radiohead, etc.)
  
• my parents coming in september
• fall in seattle
• a puyallup family thanksgiving (imagine how awesome our dinner will be)
• looking for plane tickets home to south carolina after being away for 9 months.
• sitting in an overly-christmas-decorated-room with my whole family, including jake.
• but most of all, right now i am looking forward to life returning to the crazytown we all know and love. i am looking forward to needing to escape to one of our upstairs hideaways. this house is tooo empty.

i am all kinds of thankful for life right now.

just decided

that i'm going to catch 'step brothers' today.  i am counting on it to be totally inappropriate.  

**update:  really lame movie**

a few things sold me on going to see this today, but i'll tell you what tipped me right over the edge.  the part in the trailer where john c. reilly sings, "this is how we do it" jumps on the bunk bed and then it collapses.  gets me every time.  

i know everyone has seen the commercials, but this trailer has a lot of funny stuff i hadn't seen yet, so here it is.  it's the 'mature' one, so it's got bad language, if this offends you, don't watch it.

zoned out and wonky-eyed

so tired, trying to watch project runway on youtube, keep blinking to stay awake. must walk upstairs.

beulah update: that little beast weighs 13 lbs. and she is awesome.

spent the day with anna, here's a snippet of our day:

anna: "what kind of weird music is this?"

lauren: "uhh, do you really not know who this is? i have let you down during the time you lived with us. this is elton john."

anna: "oh right, you mean elton john newton."

lauren: "i'm sorry?"

anna: "elton john newton" (belligerence)

lauren: "wait, are you thinking about olivia newton john?"

sentimental and a bit creeped out

sentimental because i just watched this video about a friend's first son being born. it was so sweet and amazing.

also, i'm creeped out because of google map's new feature.




this is my parent's house. the house i grew up in. not sure when they did this, but it must've been a little while back because my car is in the carport.

uhh what else? nothing is really going on. i'm finally getting to go see 'the dark knight' tomorrow. anna will also be spending the day with me. hopefully, she won't show up at 'sis AM' for 'brafast'.

also, i am incredibly distracted--jennifer hudson just came on regis and kelly, she is in the lowest cut dress, and i am actually cringing hoping that everything stays right where it should. regis is unabashedly staring. it's like watching a car crash, you can't quite look away.

and on that note, here's jennifer singing on the sex and the city soundtrack--

Jennifer Hudson--All Dressed Up In Love

okay one last thing. a couple of years ago at camp, we had a tv character party where we all dressed up like someone from tv. i would like to take a moment to grieve the loss of my chosen tv character. estelle getty (sophia). i turned out looking nothing like her, but hey, i got nothing but love for you 'stell.

eh

alright.  

we're having a DEFCON 1 emergency here.  i am cleaning for entertainment.  just who do i think i am?

my brain feels like mush.  

i haven't showered.

but the dishwasher is going.

floors are mopped.

vacuum is staring at me from across the room.

and the room smells like a dryer sheet.  

now what?

songs for sunday

the morning benders--mother and child reunion (paul simon cover)

jon and roy--another noon

devotchka--transliterator

david bowie--let's dance

the do--stay (just a little bit more)

jimmy fallon--idiot boyfriend (this song was awesome circa 2002, my freshman year of college. i still know every word. and actually, it's still pretty funny).

now.

introducing.

sad.

kermit.

can't make you feel it

many times i blog as an attempt to get you to feel whatever it is that i'm feeling.  

as some of you know, i struggled with an eating disorder for about 5 years.  last year, during my stay at remuda there were a limited number of cds for us to listen to, and 'add to the beauty' by sara groves was the one that i always chose to listen to.  i bought it on iTunes last fall, several months after returning home, and to hear each song was like shedding all the layers of healing and being right back in that vulnerable and broken state.  

it's odd how i see that time as so sweet.  sweet is not the right word, rich.  it was rich.  and meaningful.  a time to wrestle with the Lord, and lose.  my thoughts about remuda and the women and staff that changed my life there are on my mind most of the time.

gosh.  i just think about who i was when i went there.  i was so mad.  i wanted nothing to do with God.  i thought that i could outrun Him.  

the scripture from Genesis 32 seemed to follow me every where:

"So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." 

      But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

 27 The man asked him, "What is your name?" 

      "Jacob," he answered.

 28 Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, ^[e] because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."

my roommates during my stay complained of me talking in my sleep during the night.  after several nights they began realizing that i was praying in my sleep.  evidently pleading with the Lord not to let me go.  

so, tonight when i transferred a few iTunes purchases over to my new computer i got to listen to the sara groves cd for the first time in a while.  i wanted to share it with you.  it's nothing crazy ground breaking, but it's meaningful in my life.  [hopefully it will work, it may not allow you to listen to it since it's an iTunes purchase..let me know].

Sara Groves--Add to the Beauty

When It's Over

Just Showed Up for My Own Life

You are the Sun

It's Gonna Be Alright

Add to the Beauty

Rewrite This Tragedy

Something Changed

To the Moon

Kingdom Comes

Why It Matters

Loving A Person

When It's Over (Reprise)

same ol', same ol'

sitting here at 10:30pm watching syndicated sex in the city.  it's our nightly ritual, beulah insists.  i think she's a samantha.  

i picked up the motorcycle diaries at fred meyer the other night.  it's at least the second time i've bought it, maybe the third.  i hadn't watched it in several years, and watching it today i remembered why i keep buying it.  there's not a lot i want to say about it, but if you haven't seen it, please give it a try.  [also, i don't think there is anyone more charismatic than gael garcia bernal].  

tomorrow brings a fun-filled day of the puyallup farmers market, batman, and beulah's first puppy class.  

one more thing before bedtime.  

and...my job here is done.

little brother

i have to talk to you about my amazing brother.

i don't think that i brag on him enough, because it almost seems prideful because he is so much apart of me. it's like bragging about my foot or my left eyebrow. i mean, i don't really have anything to do with how they turned out, my eyebrows and i just happened to grow up in the same house, much like jared and i.

all of this to say--i have the most talented brother(s) ever. we'll talk about josh another day.

jared is hilarious, creative, and generally the best guy i know. i thought i'd post a few things he has done lately, and a few links to some people who have started noticing his talent.

AFTERLIFE from Jared Hogan on Vimeo.
Big Diction (Austin, Texas pop culture blog) found Jared's final film (for his junior year) after searching for balmorhea, and was impressed enough to post it on their blog.

also, balmorhea, a great band that jared has used to score a few movies, has noticed jared's films as well, and has posted two of them on their band's website.


A MORNING from Jared Hogan on Vimeo.

one more--an awesome video jared did for his friends that were recently married.


THE WEDDING from Jared Hogan on Vimeo.

okay, i think i've gotten it out of my system for now. love you jare. [also, i've only really spoken of his talents, not really about his heart, one of these days i'll get around to telling you how much he loves the Lord, but not today]

(also, here's his blog..now he has to write).

herb garden update

it's been about a month since i planted the herbs.

all of a sudden in the last few days, these little baby herbs up and became huge.

(taken on my phone, picture quality is really rough)

my favorite thing ever is fresh sweet basil--take a look.


i think i am going to be using our fresh herbs for the first time in my dinner tonight!

pleasant evening

life is beginning to edge back into the 'normal' category, or maybe, more accurately, the enjoyable category. there has been some upheaval around here in the last month.

jared and maria coming and going
all the girls leaving
finding beu
nick and jessi being gone

i have thought a lot in the last week about what living in community means, and how i become conditioned to having it and then losing it. whether it is camp, remuda, or any other intensive time of living and bonding with others, there always seems to be a serious let down after it's over. you build and build this home with others, only to have to move out and start from scratch and build a foundation with new people.

the difference with life now is that for the foreseeable future, i really have a chance to get comfortable in this home and this time in my life.

i think this week has reminded me of how thankful i am to be here, and how glad i am that life here is not short term.

horse poop and other things

quick update to let you know that i am still alive, and i am still holding down the new beginnings fort.  

i am checking things off of my list every day.  and it's going well.  

on a sad note, while watching josh, caleb, and hannah on saturday, the boys found a little baby frog.  looking similar to this:

usually, i don't have any particular affection for amphibians.  but this little guy was particularly lovable.  the boys ran around for about 10 minutes trying to find some sort of containment device.  i told them to be gentle, and explained that if they continued to hold him in their fists, he would probably suffocate.  

i was so thankful that the boys found some entertainment that i wasn't nearly as concerned as i should have been about the frog's well being.  the boys ended up turning over a ceramic pot to corral him.  caleb ran inside the house, and i turned my back, and josh started pushing the very large ceramic pot across the patio.  

long story short, he ran over the frog with the 20 pound ceramic pot.  and it was awful.  i mean, really, really horrible (did you know frogs bleed..a lot?).  i even had to swallow back tears because he was such a charismatic little frog.  

so this post is for you, howard.

(oh, and my dog has a passion for horse poop.  an unending, all consuming passion).

songs for sunday

beck--hotwax

thomas newman--score from wall-e

edith piaf--padam, padam

seu jorge--tive razao

fleet foxes--blue ridge mountains

karen dalton--katie cruel

bruce springsteen--my oklahoma home

the final list

• test drive a car, and make the salesman take a picture of me while in it.
• become an expert on the jerboa.
• enroll beu in an obedience class.
• write a book report on a children's book.  probably a 'box car children' book.
• create a soy peanut butter chocolate banana milkshake
• i will go to an area casino.
• write a poem using the word 'connolly', and find at least two rhyming words.
• photoshop jessi's face onto kim kardash..oh wait.  check that one off the list.

• i can also check the pilfering of a certain framed photo off my list. 
• teach the musick twins to sing "Low" by Flo Rida.  caleb on lead vocals, and josh on background vocals.
• flirt with one obscure man per week, three men total.  
• take a short roadtrip (idaho, here i come).
• work out 15 times in the next 3 weeks.
• i'm out.

all hopped up on oxycodin

there are lots of things i feel like saying right now.  and lots of reasons that i should not say them and go to bed, run to bed.  but, as a result of some nasty wisdom teeth worming their way through my gums, i took one of jessi's c-section pain pills, and now i am feeling pretty good about life AND my gums.  

i decided today that my life right now is very much like a 6 year old's during the summer.  i spend all day outside with no shoes on playing with a puppy.  this morning i got to hang out with elias and beulah and we played hard.  

the house is abuzz with preparation for the connollys trip back east.  i will be using this blog to brainstorm for activities during my 3 weeks alone:

• drive to rainier
  
• dog park/obedience classes for beu
  
• spend full days in tacoma exploring
  
• walk to puyallup several times a week
  
• possibly have to recover from wisdom teeth removal
  
• i know one or two days i will be watching the musick twins (that will be a series of posts all to itself, i am sure).
  
• spend a full day in fremont, because i love it.
• eat here.  
• maybe i'll take the twins to see Wall-E (i love me some pixar)
• drop my resume off here.

okay, so i have tried before to get people to come out of the woodwork and comment on my blog.  but for real, i covet your ideas for things to do for free for the next few weeks.  though, i am fully aware that no one is going to leave me ideas--i have no sway in the blog world.  i've come to terms with it.  

songs for sunday

• mgmt--kids
• bob dylan--highway 61 revisited
• flight of the conchords--foux du fa fa
• peter bjorn and john--young folks
• sam amidon--wedding dress
• duffy--mercy
• fleet foxes--white winter hymnal
• shearwater--leviathan, bound
• sigur ros--gobbledigook
  

uhhhh

in the coming days you can look forward to a pretty awesome set of pictures of jessi and i dressed up as each other.  as soon as i can get it off of my camera.  

we are headed to a mariner's game tonight.  i went when jared and maria were here, and it was so fun.  but tonight--we're headed to the best seats in the house.  deluuuuuxe box seats.  hopefully we'll get some good pictures of that experience as well.  

i have definitely decided that i am MORE than ready for a new group of girls.  nick and jessi are totally occupied without them, because they have 2 full time jobs (otherwise known as elias and glory).  but me?  yeah, i am going to need something to do/someone to make fun of pronto.  i'm only half kidding about that last part.  i just want to DO something.  even if it is being exasperated/completely amused by:

• monkeys
  
• straightjackets
  
• finascos
  
• 6 am (sis AM)
  
• 8 pound people coming out of cooches
  
• chinese crustaceans
• baJA fresh
• or just general crazy
  

all of this to say, if you happen to live in the puget sound area, and even if you don't, maybe come/fly/drive here.  no, really.  i'm not kidding.  

can anyone hear me?  you there?  

come see me.  now.

please?

just a regular thursday night

i really and truly have nothing to share.  i am just sitting downstairs watching grey's anatomy with a puppy sleeping on my foot.  

today has been really hilarious.  i think jess has particularly enjoyed my complete inhibition today.  i have laughed at everything all day long.  once in a while i get like this, most times it is with jared and a few other select people in my life (like robert hardy or sam eidson).  i get embarrassed by how much i laugh.  

if you would like some harmless fun and ridiculously juvenile laughs, please go here.